Mom is on the warpath again after months of pleasantness. So what do I do?
My mom has been so good for the past couple months. She's been improving. But as of the past month, after almost a year in this particular nursing home, she's been itching to leave more than ever. And I won't be party to it. I don't think it's safe and I definitely don't have the money.
Now she will go out of her way to call me just to pick a fight. Mind you I am no longer her POA. Nothing is keeping her in the home. But it's always "you became my POA illegally" or "you're keeping me here" or whatever. A) a lawyer and two witnessed watched her sign the POA document and the lawyer was a longtime professional friend of my moms and in South Dakota, a lawyer can determine if someone is fit to sign a document B) if she was fit to leave, yes I would manage a way. But I cannot go against my conscience.
So what do I do? Let her verbally slap me? Of course I sympathize but going back into the cycle of apartments and nursing homes terrifies me to the bone.
I agree with Barb that if you think this amounts to a behavioural change you should report it, so that the routine medical checks get made.
She's calling you to pick a fight... Is this happening at particular times of day? Is she getting bored whereas before she was busy? - I'm guessing at some kind of fall-out with a mah jong circle or the pilates teacher, leaving her cross and with nothing better to do than give you a hard time.
"You forced me (at gunpoint, don't tell me) to give you POA - I've got to get out of here - you can't stop me - blah blah blah" - you'll have to work out a script, like telemarketers use, that says "take that up with the facility's director, she'll be happy to provide you with information and support."
And if that doesn't stop her, fall back on "I really have to go, love you, let's talk later xxx" and hang up.
Finally: you say you cannot go against your conscience. That, to me, sounds like there is some vestigial question in your mind that if only something-or-other your mother would be better off living independently. Scrub out that vestige. There is no question of your mother's returning to her rollercoaster.
First thing I'm thinking of is that she may have a UTI.
Is she on any psych drugs? They may need adjusting.