Mom is now drinking on average 6 Boost drinks a day instead of eating food. Need suggestions and advice.

OK . I've gone through this with my husband. - he's 75 with chronic back pain, severe osteoperosis, and some other health issues I can't get into . . He drank 3-4 - 5 Ensures a day.

Then we discovered his blood sugar went way up. My husband is very good about gettng blood tests every month. Mainly because of Multiple Myoloma predisposition. But . .we both decided along with his GP . .to cut down on the sugars.

Now . . I'm into cooking . . fresh food dishes. For his health and I can work on my culinary skills!

Ensure . .Boost . . it's a good temporary patch if needed at certain times. But certainly not for long term food/nutrition consumption. All I'm saying is . .while she loves drinking the stuff . .her blood sugar is probably going through the roof. Not good.

Thats my take.

I've just re-read this post & all the replies - lots of great experience & knowledge!

From my view, I see a loving daughter trying to keep her Mum happy, healthy & keep Mum's independance too but doing more & more. Hinting at getting more care/changing things but not wanting to upset.

I have been caught in this quicksand & suppose I had to, to learn the way out. What helped me was good old fashioned plain talking.

Some hard questions coming...

Is Boost the problem or just the tip of an iceberg?

If you zoomed out, way back - what's the whole iceberg (situation) look like? An elderly lady, living alone, not able to shop for herself, eat or drink properly, manage bills(?) or socialise.

If you broke your leg, could Mum look after herself? Could she arrange deliveries, collect medications, use taxis, get to appointments?

Is she really 'independant'?

My sister had a visit from Dept of Health. She told them "I live alone independantly".

After assessing her situation, the Rep said "You live alone *dependantly*. You are very dependant on your family. You cannot look after yourself. You need to move into supported accomodation". Not gentle or tactful - just plain talking.

Like a giagantic bandaid was just ripped off & we saw the wound for what is was.

I don't wish to cause you upset - but just some encouragement to get a real look at the bigger picture. (Like a diagnosis of the situation).

I am sorry you are going through this. I know how difficult it is. My MIL did the same thing in her final years and I know several others who also lost their interest in solid food in their final years. I am 69, so many of the people I know have elderly parents or recently deceased parents. We all struggle to do what we can to keep our elders functioning as "normally" as possible. A few of us have begun to question the wisdom of trying to get our aging (and dying) parents to resume the eating patterns of their younger days.

I agree with those who have suggested that you find more nutritionally complete liquid nutrition that would be more like a meal. However, it may be a losing fight to try to cajole or force her to eat more solid food. Ultimately, the struggle will be yours, not hers, and you will probably lose.

I would suggest that you do make sure that she have good, soft foods available to her, like packaged macaroni and cheese and frozen scrambled eggs. Buy things that are real food, but soft. Another good option is little containers of cottage cheese with fruit. These things are not economical and they are not environmentally sensible (so much single use plastic!) but if they are present and easily available your mother may eat a little. Don't overbuy. For my mother, I buy just one or two of something, then check the refrigerator/freezer the next week to see if thy have disappeared. Usually they have not.

If there is nothing that you find that she willingly eats, you may have to reconcile yourself to the idea that her body is simply changing and her interest in the process of eating is failing. Take your time, spend time with her, try to enjoy what you can of her last year or two, and let the process work itself out. Try not to become obsessed with her eating. It will help neither of you.

When my husband's aunt, whom I loved as though she were my own, was in her final months I spent a lot of time in her hospice room. I arranged to work on my computer in her room several days per week (there are advantages to being a computer programmer). One day I was working in the corner and Aunt Dari's sister was by her side, offering her water, juice, applesauce, etc., etc., when Dari finally pushed her away and told me to please come over to her side. She glared at her sister, then looked at me and said, "She thinks that if she can force enough of that crap down my throat I won't die." Then she thought a bit about what she said and laughed. "I'll win this fight. You wait and see. I'll die anyway." Then she laughed again. I held her hand and we talked of times past, walking through Central Park, the flowers by the lake, all the good times. She passed about 4 weeks later.

There is no medical explanation that I have heard, but this happens so often that I think we should think about respecting the wishes and desires of those who are in their final years. The goal is not to keep them alive as long as possible, but to keep their life as good as possible as long as their bodies are willing to live.

If she has the money to buy the boost drinks then why is 50.00 weekly for her nutrition an issue.

If she is getting less frail and week I would be encouraging her to have 7 or 8 a day.

She is 82 and has earned the right to eat and drink what ever she wants. Let her enjoy her self. Don't try to get her to live forever. None of us do.

My sister (disabilites) does her own shopping is deemed competent to make decisions (good or bad). Buys chocolate biscuits, lollies, sugary instant coffee drinks, icecream & soft drink. Doesn't want to spend much on actual meals so buys supermarket brand pre-made frozen dinners (low cost but also low nutrient).

Sooo frustrating! The reason she lives this way as she lacks the cognition, attention & concentration to plan or cook proper meals.

Firstly, who buys the Boost? How often are you visiting? Could you deliver 7 for the week? Or of you live together, keep only 7 available (the rest hid).

Secondly, why are you paying? Doesn't your Mother pay for her own groceries?

Thirdly, she may have lost her hunger due to always being full (of Boost). Similar to how toddlers who fill up on milk don't eat enough solids.

Lastly, you can change what's in YOUR control: limit her access to more than 1 per day, arrange meals on wheels or other meal service a few times a week instead.

If she can phone order & pay & arrange delivery herself (like my sister) then you don't have much control except advising her & also her Doctor.

One last thing, does she KNOW she is having 6 a day? Is there short term memory problems at all?

You said "she is not eating prepared meals, except for when I bring them. ..... andleaves the leftovers to go to waste." Once I realized my dad was doing this I realized he could no longer live alone. My father had been the cook in our family and loved planning and preparing meals and then gradually I realized he wasn't really doing that. I tried bringing food, having delivery, etc but he really didn't eat anything much and although he said "save that. I'll eat it later" I'd just find it old in the refrigerator and he was living on Tastycakes and chocolate chip cookies. I think that the Boost is all she can actually manage to 'prepare' for herself plus she loves the sweet smooth flavor and texture. Does she have any dementia? Does she take care of her home and other needs independently? If no, I think you are getting close to a time when she can't live alone. Even reheating leftovers seems to be more than she wants or is able to manage to do. The Boost may be the best she can manage, providing protein and nutrients. Your bigger problem than the Boost is that is probably just a step toward her needing full-time supervision and assistance.

Get her involve in a social activity perhaps? Can she walk? Can she talk? Senior adult day care, or a hobby outside of home? Botanical garden or day trips with seniors to museums? Try meals on wheels?

Protein powders with fresh fruit, in a blender may be cheaper. One powder I found and Sprouts.. called Bio-Chem protein powder. I think that was the name. Anyway, High protein powder you can throw fruit, milk or soymilk, ice, blend it. Save it for the whole day.
Instant Pot, buy chicken boneless skinless, add a couple bouillon cubes for salt and flavor. That lasts almost a week, with 3 pets, and me. Feeds all of us. Cheaper than catfood. Although your mom is not a cat, just saying, she can sip on the broth for a dinner, or lunch. I usually grab a cup microwave it for breakfast while getting ready for work. Then she can make chicken salad sandwich with the meat.. It's easy.. Although, I forgot to put back in frig this morning.. So I had to go buy another package of chicken. I think I will try a different protein. I am getting tired of chicken..

They do always push back about moving. She is drinking boost instead of even bothering to heat up what you have made for her. It is time to move. If she has any money, start looking round at various facility choices. Assisted living or even independent living with a couple of meals a day might work well. A place with IL, AL and MC would be ideal. My mother would not heat
up what we brought her. If I made grilled cheese while there, she would eat it but she would not think to microwave food we had labeled. Then she started nuking leftover coffee until it exploded all over the place. She refused to move, said she was not interested but thought it was fine to have my sister come twice a day to make her food, do her laundry and clean her house (my sister lived closer, but is single mom, 3 kids with full time job. We told her that is not going to happen and you have to move. Doctor said you cannot live along. She did move. So hopefully you can stop placating your mother, find a place she can afford and move her.

BLT, if your mom likes shakes, let her drink more. BUT, make them up & put more good stuff in them. I have a paragraph about this in my profile. Everyone is different. Find out what flavors your mom likes best and use them.

My dad was losing weight (especially around his shoulders) & I had to do something. Most of my dad's nutrition comes from shakes now. He will eat some oatmeal or fruit in the morning, but he gets 64 oz of liquid salad a day. He has no necessary meds(sleep aid, if needed) with excellent vitals.