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I am in favor of letting nature take its course. If someone has stopped eating, this is God and Nature's way of letting life come to an end. It is in my healthcare directions that I do NOT want a feeding tube under any conditions.
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Caregiverhelp11 Apr 2019
I AGREE. I've read that putting in a feeding tube is only prolonging a person's death. Let nature take it's course. Too many elderly are being kept alive by artificial means, the whole time suffering for much longer than they should have too. I know I have told my family that under no circumstances do I want to be kept alive artificially.
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Any favorite foods. When my aunt in nursing home stops eating we take food that she likes or from favorite restaurants, it helps us.
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I have a completely different view than other responders - is she depressed? Some anti-depressant medications often acts as an appetite stimulant and mood stabilizer. Just a thought.
My other thought was mentioned- dysphasia.
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This is my mother. She was placed in a SNF last summer under hospice care, but recovered. In the 8 months she's been there, she's lost 20 pounds. She hates their food and won't eat it. She had developed a love of salty and sweet treats in the years before her paranoid dementia. She will drink Ensure and eat graham crackers and potato chips, but that's about all. I bring her food on the weekends when I visit, but she's become suspicious of this food as well and doesn't want to eat it. I don't push it. You don't say how old your mother is, but at some point you have to let your mother decide how hungry she wants to be and know you've done your part. Best to you!
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anonymous768192 Apr 2019
My Mom is 69 and is going through this eating phase right now. Some days she won't eat and guess what? I let her decide when she's ready. By that time she eats every single thing I put in front of her. I give her mashed potatoes everyday because that is the only thing I know she will actually swallow. I battle with this daily, however, I really don't want her to go into a home. She's so young and I know how feisty she is. I feel like someone may do something to her because of it.
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Does Mom have Dysphagia Here, dear? If So, It is going to be Rough, I Realize...It will only be a Matter of Time.
Talk to the Hospital's Social Worker on your Mom. When in a Nursing Facility, a Skilled One, They Make them as Comfortable as Possible and with Much Skill as they are Supposed to have, They will be able to Get her to perhaps Eat PUREED Food to Sustain her for now.
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I would verify that the SNF knows of her status and currently condition. If they are not able to provide non food categorized oral nutrition then she needs to be admitted to a hospital. Nutrition can be provided via the nose into the stomach as a less invasive method, an IV can be given known as parenteral nutrition and the most invasive is the surgical placement of a tube directly to the stomach.
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Mhillwt Apr 2019
my father had the same issues as the posters mom.....he developed mrsa endocarditis with severe sepsis but was responding to antibiotics....but he stopped eating and drinking during this 2 week illness.....he was kept going with IV fluids and dextrose but his albumin was 1.5 - apparently that signifies severe malnutrition....since my dad was a voracious eater before this illness = his weight loss didn't look dramatic...he was astrong muscular 89 yr old....but they told me he would need a feeding tube before going back to rehab for 8 weeks of IV antibiotics...…..I couldn't imagine him in a rehab , bedridden with picc line, feeding tube, stage 3/4 bedsore and urinary catheter for what I was told MIGHT work for healing his endocarditis......but perhaps I should have sent him there without feeding tube...since im reading he could have survived a long time without eating...I feel like I killed him prematurely with hospice...I also was never told about parenteral nutrition ie via vein.....I always thought tube was thru the nose and didn't want him to have that pain....but parenteral might have been ok.....I wish I was more educated on all this when I made hospice decision....after the fact, his dr told me the feeding tube wouldn't have made a difference(why tell me then?) and that parenteral would be prone to infection ,etc and it would be a revolving door back to hospital from rehab, etc....so confusing what they tell you before and then after they die!
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They gave my mom an appetite stimulant and lots of smoothies when she went into rehab. It took a little while for it to work but she began to gain weight. The doctor at the facility should be made aware of the concerns about the medication. I hope the rehab goes well.
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Even anesthesia can change the appetite. Have a conversation with the director of nursing over rehab. There are things like "miracle cup" they can give her which are calorie laden. They did this with my dad when he was losing weight after his rehab stint. Also they can make shakes or smoothies for her. But they need to be doing something in the facility to help her gain her strength to do the PT and OT etc.
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My Mom isn't eating either. At first, we tried everything, we started feeding her yogurt, ice cream, and broth. And for quite a while now she only likes hot chocolate. She is drinking very little of that anymore. It's been a good 3 months since she has eaten anything substantial.

After talking to nurses and hospice and reading articles, I've come to realize that they get to a point in their lives that their bodies start to shut down so they do not care to eat anything. We do not force her to eat. WE offer the same things as before and if she wants any of them, we feed her, if not, we don't.

What amazes me is how long someone can survive with so little food. It has been tough for me to see her in this condition. She has lost a lot of weight, is bed bound, but is still mentally alert. Her vitals have been good. My Mother just turned 92 this month. I have heard some folks can last a long time without eating. We shall see. All we can do at this point is keep them comfortable as possible. Good luck to you..
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Friendtotheend Apr 2019
Totally agree. I have seen this 3 times in the last year . I read the digestive system begins to shut down first, but yes, it is truly amazing how long one can go without eating or eating very little. Normal progression of things in a lot of elderly, but it sure doesn't hurt to try. I wouldn't force feed, follow their cues, it's all ok.
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With my mom we try to follow her cues. She didn’t like being fussed over and constantly asked by nurses and family. I switched to occasionally asking if she needs anything (one time she said ‘yes, a hug’ ❤️) and if she wanted food or drink she’d tell me. Does she have problem swallowing? Sometimes they have silent aspiration. I’d have them check that, if it’s bothersome for her to swallow that could be the reason. Or sometimes people are just letting go and their body doesn’t crave it anymore. Either way just try and focus on what she really wants and keeping her happy and comfortable ❤️
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Give her special things! You didn't say she can't swallow, so why the pureed food and Ensure, yuck. Joy is key, not nutrition right now. I vote for a sundae with whipped cream, nuts and a cherry! Btw that would give her protein, fat, and calcium. :D Or what were her favorite foods? If these don't work, it is possible that she is just ready to go. Best wishes to you in this time.
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She doesn’t “have” to eat. A person can live a long time without food. I have no idea how aware she is, or her complete mental and physical condition, but perhaps she just doesn’t feel like eating or is tired of having food poked at her. Keeping her hydrated with fluids is what counts, even if it’s minimally hydrated. I’d follow her cues on the food
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Can you make her some shakes? First, you need to get a really good blender, such as a Ninja(I bought a refurb one online/half price). I make my dad really good healthy shakes. Just a variety of them. I always put a handful of spinach, one carrot, a scoop of protein powder and 2 tablespoons or more of jello(made up, can use sugar-free).
Other fruits/veggies/nuts include fresh pineapple, raw squash(yellow, butternut, zucchini), cucumbers, an avocado, apples, strawberries, blueberries, oranges, lemons, broccoli, beets, walnuts, bananas, mango. I use just a 1/4 cup to 1/2 cup of different items.
When blender is 3/4 full, add enough water(I fill it half way) until the desired consistency. I, also, add 2 Vit C & multi B vitamin. If your mom has a favorite flavor, such as strawberry, use strawberry jello for flavor. Blend for awhile, so all is frothy and creamy.
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I've read that sweet things are more likely to taste OK. Ice cream?
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