Mother is 91 living in a very nice assisted living facility. She will not cooperate with staff refusing am and pm cares, twice weekly showers and refuses dining room meals wanting her meals delivered at an additonal 20$ per day.
She sits in her nightie and robe all day rummaging through old cards and letters.
The staff is frustrated with her since she stalls and takes up a great deal of their time. She has gotten obstinate and tries to convince us she is taking showers and going along with the program. She was just released from the hospital on Sunday with cellulitis and leg swelling. We had a stern talking to with her and advised her the next step will be a nursing home. She promised to allow ADL's, get dressed and at a minimum go to lunch in the dining room. Well, she cooperated on Monday and today she refused. Mom does have mild/moderate memory/dementia issues but has it together enough to know what need to happen. Really, we can hardly handle the calls from AL and have guilt and sadness that she is letting her hygiene go. Please advise us. We are at a loss.