My Mom (81) is a non-compliant patient and continues to smoke and not use her inhaler. Any advice? - AgingCare.com

My Mom (81) is a non-compliant patient and continues to smoke and not use her inhaler. Any advice?

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My Mom is 81 years old, owns her own trailer, but it sits on her desceased sister's property, my cousins are going to sell the property. My Mom is an alcoholic, smoker, and has a live-in care taker, but she was married to him at one time. My Mom only gets $700 per month, her care-taker is not much better. I don't know where to turn, and I have children and cannot have their unhealthy life style living in our home. Rent is too expensive, and the low-income has over a-year waiting list. My Mom had lung cancer and had her left upper lobe removed, she is a non-compliant patient and continues to smoke and not use her inhaler. I'm just beside myself. My Mom has lived on this property for 34 plus years.. She cannot live on her own, but she also has this care-taker/ex-husband situation. Any advice is much appreciated. Thank you, Maria

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Is she paying any rent to the cousins for use of the property? I don't have much insight into landlord tenant relations any more, but I'm wondering if as a tenant on the property, there are any notice and similar legal requirements, including a minimum amount of time to relocate.

I'm also not sure what the legal relationship would be between her and the relatives who want to sell the property. Have they issued a notice to vacate (leave), anything like that?

It might be worth contacting probono legal clinics, trying to locate a landlord-tenant division, and find out what her legal rights are.

I agree though, don't bring a voluntary smoker into your home. Her lifestyle would compromise the health of all of you.

If there's a landlord-tenant division
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Tow path is there any possibility of you buying the land mother's trailer is on?
Don't waste your time with the smoking, you already know that is a no brainer and i do kind of sympathize with Mom on that one. Not that I approve of smoking but it does bring her comfort and keeps some of the demons at bay.
Definitely agree don't take her into your home. Get her on the low income housing list. It may be a year long but it only gets longer if you wait.
If Mom is using oxygen make sure she takes it off when she is smoking or all your problems will be solved in one big puff of smoke. Good Luck
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If she is mentally competent and just wants to continue smoking, I don't know of anything that might curtail her. At age 81, I'm not sure it would be a battle that I would take on. I would just try to keep her safe and comfortable as possible.
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I hate to think of a cruel thing, but maybe you could have her watch one of those TV ads done by end-of-life long-term smokers. They are enough to scare anyone!
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Maria, i agree taking your mom in would not be good for your children. There are other alteritives. First it sounds like mom is pretty sick. Have docs given her any kind of time she has left? If she does not have a lot of time perhaps you could speak to your family about holding off on the sale of property. If that is a no go i would contact your Area Agency on Aging, every county has one and ask about getting her a case manager. This person can help you find the right answers for moms situation. Is she on medicaid now? She would probally qualify since her ss is low. The caseworker can help you with that also. The main thing is getting an advocate in your corner who knows the system in your state.
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Thank you Sunnygirl1, I now have some kind of direction. I really appreciate your feedback. Maria
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You may get some good information here. Of course, legal advice from an attorney in your state is the best.

I think I would figure out who is her Durable POA and find out the value of the trailer. Then I would consult with an attorney who knows Medicaid law and real property law. They can advise you on what her options are. Certainly, there will be Notice requirements for her to move the trailer. The laws vary from state to state, but I would find out where she stands and if it's worth fighting. If the trailer has little value, that has to taken into account or maybe the cousin's want to sale the trailer with the land and pay mom for it. This could effect her Medicaid eligibility though, so seek legal advice before agreeing to anything regarding real estate, sales, money to mom, etc.

You can also get advise about her eligibility for Medicaid. I'm not sure if she actually needs Assisted Living or Nursing Home care, but I would explore what is available in your state.
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