I am /will be her caregiver she almost gets jealous if I talk to one of her neighbors. She gets resentful when I try to give her 'tough love'. When I'm here she doesn't do anything. I have to shop, cook, clean. She is entirely able to do some light things around the house. She is getting stranger every day. I realize she has the horrible feeling that she is stage 4 and will die soon. Any thoughts?
My sister died of untreated breast cancer and before she died it had metastasized to her bones and her brain, it got very funky before it was over. So be mindful that she could be experiencing something similar.
Sometimes we just have to say no. It is okay to keep boundaries with a dying person.
I do not know what medical followup you are getting for your Mom? I hope her papers are all in order already for her to be represented by you in her behalf when she is unable to do so. If you have some scans it may well tell you when it is close to the time for you to call in hospice care to assist both you and Mom with this last stage of her life. I am so sorry for all you are both going through. It has to be so very difficult for you.
Has she been assessed by a geriatric psychiatrist? That would be the best course of action.