I just got in home caregivers for my mother-in-law and now she is very mean to me, violent and doesn't want to have anything to do with me. What do I do? - AgingCare.com

I just got in home caregivers for my mother-in-law and now she is very mean to me, violent and doesn't want to have anything to do with me. What do I do?

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She may resent you for getting caregivers for her. It could also be that maybe the caregivers are speaking of you negatively to her, and she is passing on that negativity to you. Get to know the caregivers. Be there sometimes when they are there. If they like you, maybe that would help. Just a thought.
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If this is a sudden change in her behavior, then there may be some underlying medical cause - strokes, UTIs, medication interactions, Alz/Dementia, etc.
If it is a personality issue, she may be doing that passive/aggressive thing that parents are so good at. She may think that you should be caring for her personally but does not have the nerve to tell you directly. Where is your hub or wife in all this? The child should be handling these conflicts.
My best advice is to try and discuss the issue as adults. If that does not work, do not buy into the rude treatment. The minute she hurls meaness get up and walk away..or end the conversation on the phone.
From your profile, it looks like you are already caring for your Mom in your home...is there a conflict there with your MIL?
It could be so many things. But you have so much on your plate, you do not need more negativity.
Good luck,
Lilli
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What's her problem? Did she think that YOU should be the one taking care of her or something? Does she feel like she's lost control of who/what/when/how kind of stuff? Ask her. Peel the onion and find out what's going on.
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