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My family wants me. I'm the oldest. I was recently in prison. I came home to find out my mom had 3 strokes and that my younger sister had been neglecting and abusing her, by not feeding her, tending to her medical needs and hygiene, and stealing money from her. I'm trying to get either POA or guardianship or something to take this debit card away from my sister whose spending mom's money irresponsibly.

Buffy, I'm responding to your response to me below. There is no money for your sister to spend on herself if Mom is in a NH because her SSI check would go to pay for her stay there. All of Mom's money needs to go to the nursing home except for a small allowance for personal needs.
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oops never mind old post
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Just want to go back to what Mstrbill was asking.

Is Mom on Medicaid in the NH or private pay? If Medicaid then her monthy income (SS and any pension) go to her care. She also has no money except the cap allowed (in my state 2k) and the Personal needs account where a small portion of her SS check is deposited. So for now sister cannot spend her money because there isn't any.

Is Mom capable of calling to have any credit cards or debit cards frozen? This should be done. She also may want to tell them that the charges made were not authorized by her and now she is in a NH, she will not be able to pay the balance.

Glad you were able to call APS. Guardianship is expensive. Mom's money can be used if she has any. Otherwise, it comes out of your pocket. I hope you can find a way to protect Mom from sister. I doubt if sister can cash that check unless she forges Moms name. I would also think that any bank she doesn't have an acct with would ask for ID before cashing a Government issued check.
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Why nobody filed anything??? Again, I don't know you guys, but I did!!! That's why I was asking if there was a statute of limitations because the elder abuse happened before I came home which makes it now a year ago. So I was told it's 3-5 years & filed the report today with APS & the police, as well as the IRS because my sister got my mom's stimulus check Friday, left here, & hasn't been back yet!!! Smh...
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Thank you all 4 your rapid responses. As for the few of you who asked about why filing wasn't done, I'm not sure & can't really answer that. I just know that when I came home from prison, everybody was bombarding & overwhelming me with all this information about how my sister was disrespecting my mom, neglecting her by leaving home by herself unattended, taking her phone so she wouldn't be able to call or talk to anyone, one friend of the family said she was on the phone with my mom 1 day & when my sister came in the room my mom got real quiet & wouldn't talk as if she was afraid to talk in front of my sister, and she told her, "she must be in the room, so call me back when you can talk", etc... For the person who asked was I sure about my sister, I'm most certainly am!!! I too doubted all the accusations at 1st because I just couldn't believe it & she has NEVER disrespected our mom in my presence, let alone raise her voice!!! But while in prison, I spoke to my mom EVERY OTHER DAY. She told me a few things out of her own mouth about how she hadn't eaten, even told me "you may have to beat this girl up when you come home, I think she's stealing my money", said she started losing being able to control her bladder & have accidents on the sheets & my sister wouldn't change them so she was laying in pissy sheets (excuse my French), said she told my sister she didn't feel good & take her to the hospital, my sister told her I don't feel like it, I'll take you tomorrow. I had her put my sister on the phone so I could find out what's really going on but of course my sister played the innocent role like "momma tripping I do everything for momma, you know I wouldn't leave and not feed her" you could hear mom in the background saying yea you find me some leftovers in the fridge & try to throw something together that's been in there God knows how long. While they talking over each other I just tell my sister you bet not be mistreating my momma & you as her ihss provider need to be doing your job, so you can start by changing & washing those sheets she say she peed on & been laying in for 2-3 days!!! Of course I got the, what sheets & the I didn't know. At that time I think I had like 2-3 months left to come home & our call ends with me telling her don't worry Ma I'll be home in a minute. That too was the last time I spoke to my mom because everytime after that for some strange reason my sister would have her phone when I called. I'd ask her y you got momma phone every time I call when you know I'm calling to talk & check on her & you got your own phone? Oh mines broke & she let me use hers, but momma alright I'll let her know you called. But Ma wasn't alright, she was in the hospital because of the 1st stroke, that NO one told me about until I came home. Release Date is here, my sister comes to pick me up, my 1st question is where's my momma. She says in the hospital, I say ok take me up there. Still not telling me about this stroke so I assumed it was her diabetes acting up again until I walked in the room & saw my mom looking very out of it & distraught, looking at me as if to figure out who I was which hurt me to my core. I'm like what's wrong with her. I went to find the Doctor to get a diagnosis & that's when he told me that my mother had 3 strokes, she can't walk, she can't eat except for the tube they have running through her stomach. So you could only imagine at that point I'm just like wth happened in 2 months??? Once I got home to mom's house is when the calls started rolling in, everybody wanted & needed to talk 2 me so bad & my sister's in my other ear saying everybody gonna try to turn you against me. I'm just confused like what why??? Oh I got the whole story after talking to 10 different people. And apparently my sister met some guy, fell in love, let him get her hooked on cocaine & ex pills, he puts his hands on her everytime money gets low, she moved in when my mom said no. They were both intimidating, bullying, & stealin
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Mom is in a nursing home. I had to put her in there because the doctor said her medi-cal wouldn't cover many more days in the hospital. And when I mentioned my sister wasn't taking care of her medical needs, that was before the strokes. My sister was mom's ihss provider & basically wasn't doing her job. Mom is on SSI & that's all the income she has. The nursing home she's in charges a fee monthly & her rent/bills/utilities as well as any & all necessities she needs while in the home i.e. hygiene/gowns/robes/hair supplies, etc. are what is supposed to be paid for in my opinion with her SSI, not my sister paying rent then doing what she wants with what's leftover. And I have at least 10 witnesses to the abuse that took place while I was in prison that'll also attest to me taking over as guardian. My being in prison was not because of my doing but caught up in someone else's shananigans who lied. I appreciate all of your input. Thanks in advance. Los Angeles CA
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mstrbill May 15, 2020
Buffy, the thing is, if she's in a nursing home, almost all Mom's income goes to that home, there should be hardly anything left over for her personal needs account. It's usually around $60 a month, but I don't know what it is in California. That's not too much money. Are you sure about your sister? I suppose you could try to contact APS and report your suspicions, I'm not too sure they would do anything though,
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If Mom can't assign you because she has been deemed incompetent, you cannot get POA. If she is competent, you may not be able to get it because you were in prison, same with guardianship.

Yes, not too clear on where is Mom. Hospital, NH or home? Need a timeline. If in a NH, in rehab with Medicare paying or in a NH with Medicaid paying. If Medicaid involved, there should not be any money to spend except for maybe 2k allowed. If sister is touching that she is in trouble with Medicaid because that 2k can only be used on Mom and any withdrawals will be questioned. If Mom is private pay and Sister is stealing, that can effect Mom being able to receive Medicaid in the future.

So, we need more info.
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I'm a little confused, please clarify. Where is Mom now? In the hospital, in a nursing home, or at home? Where is she expected to stay? If Mom is in a nursing home or hospital, how is the bill getting paid? And how much money are you talking about that little sister is taking? How much money does Mom have?
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buffy103 May 16, 2020
Mom's in a nursing home. Whatever coverage she has is paying for the majority of her stay . When I came home, my grandmother & I went looking for nice or decent nh's and my grandmother has a friend who's in one that she goes to visit, so we end up choosing that one. Since I've been home I've just been overwhelmed. Especially with me being the oldest, everyone's basically relieved because my sister can't answer those questions when she knows no medical terminology. I actually did a bit in college & a lot of self teaching through books/online/WEBMD 😏 & whatnot. N-e-who, I had to sit with a social worker in the nh as we went over thing with a fine tooth comb, they said her monthly payment would be like $65/mo. She doesn't have any money like that, she doesn't even have a bank account, definitely no assets, & most certainly nothing to leave anybody in a Will. All she gets is her SSI but like I said in the original post, my sister has been controlling that & spending it how she pleases. She's supposed to pay the rent, utilities for mom's place, the nh fee, get mom's monthly necessities, & in my opinion, if It was me, I would be putting whatever's left into a savings account for her because we all get our own money. My sister is just money hungry, on those drugs, and allowing this man to to turn her into this ugly person. They're still using mom's money now. That's y I'm trying to get guardianship or a conservatorship, even if it's just a temporary one, I just wanna be able to get mom a new card info that my sis won't have access so I don't have to beat her up over this one. Whether they give it to me or not, I'm still gonna be the one everyone comes to for permission to do anything regarding mom. To everybody else it's just like she's home now, she's the oldest, & the most responsible out of all 3 kids. I'm gonna take the role regardless as I KNOW that's what mom would want, I'm just trying to go about it the right & legal way is all.
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Your profile says she's in a nursing home, but in your message you say your sister doesn't tend to her medical needs or feed her. It's not your sister's job if she's in a NH.

It's very unlikely you'll get guardianship after serving time as well.
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Reply to HelloImMinsu
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Contact the local police and report financial exploitation of a vulnerable senior and abuse.

Quite frankly I am more worried about the abuse and neglect being addressed, this will probably get mom a court appointed guardian and then the money will be dealt with.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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Because you were in prison, chances are very slim that the court would assign you as guardian.
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