Mom belongs to a church out of state which relies very much on her donations to keep it afloat and also there are church members who have taken advantage of her generosity. If someone mentions they have a need, she will give them what is needed. She has a soft heart, but others have taken advantage of her this way. She has also been taken advantage of by sales people, mechanics and service providers, talked into expensive repairs or services and I have had to try to get her out of these situations but it was not always possible. She is 91, has cognitive decline but believes she is just fine and is still driving. She seems fine part of the time, but other times is not fine at all, has difficulty understanding what is happening. I recently helped her downsize and moved her near me last month -the culmination of a three year task - to be able to help her more easily and to protect her from the vultures that have taken advantage of her, but soon she will be moving to an independent living community.
She is selling her house to finance her move, but I am worried that when it sells and she receives the settlement, she will donate a bunch of it or piddle it away to those who have gotten accustomed to her charitable donations. The pastor of her church and other church members have made her feel guilty for moving away, made her feel the church will die without her, and though we live in a nice neighborhood and there are good things happening here, they tell her that it is bad (sinful) here (California) where we live, like she is crazy to have moved here. It really adds to her anxiety and guilt she doesn't deserve to feel. Instead of being supportive, these people are negative leeches who have fought against me moving my mom ever since they found out. They discourage her from joining a local church even in the same denomination, and so my mom sends her tithe check there to her old church.
The proceeds from the sale of her home are vital for being able to afford her move into the community and future care - her side of the family tends to live to 100, her ability to be independent may not last long and I don't doubt she will live beyond 100. I could write so much more of course but I want to stay on topic. How can I help protect her finances when she is not with me?