Does your Mom live alone? Dos your Mom have a diagnosis of dementia? Are any of your Mom's fears based on the realities of her surrounds? Is this the only change in your Mom's mentation, and has it been gradual changes and many? What does your Mom tell you she is afraid OF? Does she have real fears involving breakins or such? Is this a sudden, unrealistic uptick in general anxiety and has Mom had a physical that includes testing for UTI? I think your giving us some further details might be helpful in getting an answer.
My mom had night terrors. She was afraid and didn’t want to say why because it sounded crazy and she was aware enough to know it sounded crazy. This was early in her dementia and she was 83. The doctor gave her a low dose of zyprexa and it changed everything to the good. She has blood pressure, heart, hypothyroidism medications but this zyprexa gave her peace. She did gain about 8 pounds but that was worth it since she was not resting well and would get about 3 hours of sleep in an evening. She was wearing a Fitbit and it was very revealing. Now, my mom is back. She has a sense of humor, she is happy to sleep at night and her dementia is more about not having a memory of recent events. So we talk about old memories. We weaned her off the zyprexa one time and all her fears came back. I am grateful for the positive effects and she is accepting of the negative effects (the 8 pounds). 3 hours of sleep was not restorative and she suffered mentally because of that.
Can you please clarify that she has or has not had a cognitive exam by her doctor? A person can often see their LO as being "cognitively alert" because they don't know what other signs to look for. If she's sliding into dementia, you will need to know this important diagnosis. My MIL (when in her early 80's) had "apparent competency", which meant that she could give you general answers to general questions and seem "cognitively alert". For example, if I asked her, "How's it going today? How are you feeling?" She'd answer, "Fine" etc. But at her cog exam at the doctor's office, they had her draw the clock face (and she couldn't) and when asked who was the President, what was the full date, she didn't remember. It shocked me because she only lived 6 miles away and I talked to her every single day.
I realize your mom lives with you but when you're not looking specifically for subtle symptoms, they can be easily missed.
I am 75 years old with conditions that mean I can die any day now. I also have PTSD. This past year, I have been not just FEARFUL of being alone at night, but FEARFUL of falling asleep. I know that any time now, I can fall asleep and not wake up. So, I keep the TV on with streaming videos, or the radio on so I can hear voices other than my own brain scaring me. Try that. You can make it low so that when she does sleep, it won't be shocking her awake if the characters speak louder than usual at times.
Can she tell you why? Anything specific you could find specific solutions for?
Eg Fear of falling out of bed? Bed against a wall (if possible) & pillows on open side ??
That you won't hear her? Baby alarm ??
If more a generalised anxiety, maybe a chat to her Doctor. To discuss possibility for meds for anxiety but also to investigate. Could be a reason behind it... Sometimes low O2 at night or heart issues can cause panic.
beautiful and nice answers, just to add tranquilizers ended up affecting my mother's swallowing and blood pressure. It took a while for her doctors to discover this. They even had a code blue in the hospital where she was because her blood pressure had dropped dangerously low. It was a nightmare and a challenge to them when they did not know what was going on exactly with her.
does she have a diagnosis of dementia? Is she expressing rational or irrational fears? My mother cries a lot at night and expresses irrational worries. I’ve contemplated getting medication for her, but I haven’t done it yet.
My mom has dementia and was doing the same - was crying uncontrollably and high anxiety every day and night.
I was very hesitant to start meds but had a geriatric psyche nurse come in to evaluate her. She recommended to start the lowest doses of Azipine and Aricept. Took a few weeks to take effect but her mood lifted and she is now doing much better.
Please get your mom evaluated to see what she may need as soon as you can. Crying, depression, and anxiety are so hard on the body and mind. You will be helping your mom even though she may not realize it.
Is this a recent development, or of a longer duration? If the former, has anything traumatic happened recently, especially to someone close? Is she alone in her room, or in the home? This could make a big difference in the source of her fear.
What specific reasons does she have for this anxiety/fear? If you can identify them, perhaps you can address them.
From your profile, I'm assuming she lives with you? Does she have a room of her own? Are there windows w/o locking devices? One method of addressing that is to have someone with a drill make holes in the sides of the windows (old double hung styles) and insert screws; if someone were to try to open the window, it could not be opened any farther than the position of the screw.
That could present an exit problem though in the event of an emergency, so you might consider an alternate such as the small alarm devices. Are there any motion activated alarms on the exterior of the house?
There's another possibility: from your profile, apparently she faces a number of medical conditions. If she's anxious about those, it's probably a more generalized than specific fear.
Do you have relaxing activities planned for prior to bedtime? No stimulating foods or drinks before bedtime? Play soothing music at bedtime to help relax her? What other relaxing activities are in place? (Definitely no tv watching unless it's of animals, something soothing, but definitely not any newscasts.)
This is a common theme with families living apart. Many College towns or University settings have nursing programs/students who are looking for housing. I know of a person who did this and it was a win-win situation. The elder and the millennial which is usually the case both make out. You can do background checks and see if this works or perhaps 2-3 students working in shifts. Basically housing is an issue all over the nation. I know of a case where a medical student was living in a house with a woman with dementia who wanted to stay in her home her adult children had to work and the medical student needed housing. In some cases with the right personalities this can work. Cambridge/Boston area is doing this just for sheer companionship and to combat loneliness in the elderly and to pair up the college student with I like to refer as an "Elder of Excellence" or "Wisdom".
Dos your Mom have a diagnosis of dementia?
Are any of your Mom's fears based on the realities of her surrounds?
Is this the only change in your Mom's mentation, and has it been gradual changes and many?
What does your Mom tell you she is afraid OF? Does she have real fears involving breakins or such?
Is this a sudden, unrealistic uptick in general anxiety and has Mom had a physical that includes testing for UTI?
I think your giving us some further details might be helpful in getting an answer.
I realize your mom lives with you but when you're not looking specifically for subtle symptoms, they can be easily missed.
Eg Fear of falling out of bed?
Bed against a wall (if possible) & pillows on open side ??
That you won't hear her? Baby alarm ??
If more a generalised anxiety, maybe a chat to her Doctor. To discuss possibility for meds for anxiety but also to investigate. Could be a reason behind it... Sometimes low O2 at night or heart issues can cause panic.
Many times it is not fear but rather loniness.
I was very hesitant to start meds but had a geriatric psyche nurse come in to evaluate her. She recommended to start the lowest doses of Azipine and Aricept. Took a few weeks to take effect but her mood lifted and she is now doing much better.
Please get your mom evaluated to see what she may need as soon as you can. Crying, depression, and anxiety are so hard on the body and mind. You will be helping your mom even though she may not realize it.
What specific reasons does she have for this anxiety/fear? If you can identify them, perhaps you can address them.
From your profile, I'm assuming she lives with you? Does she have a room of her own? Are there windows w/o locking devices? One method of addressing that is to have someone with a drill make holes in the sides of the windows (old double hung styles) and insert screws; if someone were to try to open the window, it could not be opened any farther than the position of the screw.
That could present an exit problem though in the event of an emergency, so you might consider an alternate such as the small alarm devices. Are there any motion activated alarms on the exterior of the house?
There's another possibility: from your profile, apparently she faces a number of medical conditions. If she's anxious about those, it's probably a more generalized than specific fear.
Do you have relaxing activities planned for prior to bedtime? No stimulating foods or drinks before bedtime? Play soothing music at bedtime to help relax her? What other relaxing activities are in place? (Definitely no tv watching unless it's of animals, something soothing, but definitely not any newscasts.)
I know of a person who did this and it was a win-win situation. The elder and the millennial which is usually the case both make out. You can do background checks and see if this works or perhaps 2-3 students working in shifts. Basically housing is an issue all over the nation. I know of a case where a medical student was living in a house with a woman with dementia who wanted to stay in her home her adult children had to work and the medical student needed housing. In some cases with the right personalities this can work. Cambridge/Boston area is doing this just for sheer companionship and to combat loneliness in the elderly and to pair up the college student with I like to refer as an "Elder of Excellence" or "Wisdom".
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