Mother had a hip replacement in March (?) around then--spent 8 weeks in rehab then came home (lives in an apt with my brother's family). For the last 8 weeks or so, she has been falling, the last 2 weeks, she has fallen every single day. She has a "fallen down" alarm pendant, but it rarely works as she really just blacks out and slumps to the floor, so the alarm does not go off. She is too weak to push the panic button on her own. Last week she laid on the floor from 11 pm to 5:45 am when she regained her ability to push the alarm. She also loses bladder control when she has these episodes, and her ability to speak for a length of time. She's covered in bruises, but can't tell you how she got them. She falls only between 10 pm and 6 am...never during the day. Out of 5 siblings, only 2 of us really take care of her. I went yesterday with my hubby and we put in a bed guard rail--but she wouldn't let us install it the "correct way" because it would have meant moving a little side table she has..she completely flipped out when I showed her that to install it correctly we'd need to move this table--screamed at me and said "You have taken everything from me...I'm keeping that table"...I know at that point to walk away.
Realistically, even is she is having mini-strokes, there is nothing we can do. She is able to take care of herself.....barely. I go there 3-5 times per week, and do what I can, but I make her angry, so I usually don't stay long. She says very hurtful things to me, and yes, I know I am supposed to let the comments roll off my back, but they still hurt. I guess I am wondering if this passing out and falling down is leading to a bigger stroke, or if this is a normal part of aging. (She's 85). I don't know how my brother handles it-- she will happily use up every minute of every day he is off work, when I can step up and do some of this for her--she won't let me, b/c she doesn't like me as well. We cannot get the other sibs involved, they just don't want to be. I guess I'm just venting, but I do want to know if this blacking out and falling is something to be concerned about...or if it's just more of the aging process. Sure wish she could be nice to me.....when she passes I am going to be so exhausted and sick of her unkindness...I don't think I will even care--and I know how awful that sounds.....she can say the cruelest things to me, and I am still trying to learn how to let it go. I'm trying to clear her apt of obstructions and falling hazards and she's screaming at me that I am trying to take all her things away from her (a ratty kitchen rug, a bedskirt that trips her up, a bag of wet depends she leaves in the hallway....) I don't get her at all. I REALLY wanted to move her to AL but the other sibs all said NO WAY--well, THEY don't care for her, so it's easy for them to say. They have not seen her the day after a fall when she is incoherent and covered in fresh bruises. Just wonder how long this can go on.