Mom is facing the loss of her pet companion. Any suggestions or advice?

I forgot to mention that my mother has escalating dementia, histrionic personality disorder and suffers from chronic PTSD. From a distance I manage her finances and coordinated care, which she’s systematically fired and has been alone since a year now. I’ve taken care of her most of my life and recently took a step back and invited older brother and nephews to get involved and offer emotional support. Hope they will because I’m feeling quite drained, although I take time outs for myself and I live in another town. I know this situation is out of my control, so we’ll see how things go. I just don’t want to take on more than I can while I’m also in the midst of interviewing for a new job.

I am so sorry for all three of you. I’ve been through this too many times and it never gets easier. How to handle it depends on Mom’s level of cognition. If she is able to comprehend that her kitty is gone, go ahead with your plans to have her be there for the euthanasia. For both their sakes, this is the way to go. However, if she will not remember the experience, you’ll have to go through the euthanasia and then relive it each time, perhaps multiple times per day, when she asks where he is. In that case, it may be easier to do the deed yourself and then use the Therapeutic Fib, telling her he is at the vet getting a check-up.

I agree that getting her another cat may not be a good idea unless you have every intention of adopting the cat when she can no longer take care of it.

God Bless all three of you.

I am a pet lover as is my whole family. It is always hard to lose a pet and your mother will grieve for the cat. Are there other pets in her community that could come visit her? Or are there any facility pets? Do they have pet therapy come to her building?

One quick thought, is there a vet that could come to her home? There is a wonderful vet in my community who does house calls and I have a few friends who have had her come to put down their cat or dog. It maybe less stressful for your mother than going to a busy clinic.

If going to a clinic is the only option ask about a late in the day appointment, it will be less busy and hopefully the vet will give you the choice of staying with the cat and remaining for a while afterwards. When we had Cassie euthanized, we were the last appointment of the day and we were allowed to stay with her during and after the procedure. It gave us time to say goodbye.

I am a terrible one to give advice on what to do moving forward. But I am young enough to have time for a long commitment to a pet. We have an agreement in my family that I will take in whatever dog Mum may have if she is no longer able to care for it.

But Mum does not have dementia, lives in her own home independently at age 85. Currently she has LeRoy a Pitty cross who is a delightful dog and gets along well with my two dogs and the cats. He is 8 now and is feeling aches and pains in his joints, but still a happy dog. When he goes, she may just borrow my dogs for visits, but if she gets another, I will be fully supporting her.

When Tucker died, I found her a senior dog who needed a home. Ginger was a beautiful dog who lived with Mum for almost 3 years, before she did not wake up one day. LeRoy joined her when she had Ginger and it was a blessing that he was there to help with the grieving process.

Oh I’m so sorry! This is going to be so hard for you. Perhaps you can find a volunteer with a therapy cat or dog that can visit her weekly?

This is really sad and I'm sure she'll miss the cat, but, I would take serious consideration before getting her another pet. Your profile says that she has dementia and as she progresses, it may not be feasible for her to provide care for another pet.