I think my mother is dying, how do you cope with this?

Follow
Share

My mother fell the day before Thanksgiving and shattered her femur. She is currently in Rehab and not doing well at all. She had complications after the surgery but overcame them shortly. Since she has been in rehab she refuses to eat and is barely drinking. She is nausea all the time and complains of her mouth being sore. She is skin and bones and we don't know what to do (family) to get her to eat. I asked her why she does eat and she says when she looks at the food she does not want it. She is not sleeping all the time but mostly alert. I hate to see her like this and I hope that she can recover to some extent. I don't know if I can handle her passing and all I want to do is comfort her the best way I can emotionally and physically.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
3

Answers

Show:
Is Hospice in the picture? You can ask them to evaluate her. You can also ask her MD to take a look at her medications, they can fix the nausea. She may even need antidepressants so she can tackle the PT with more confidence. Get her out of bed, moving with a walker if you can. When I was in rehab I resented the nurses telling me UP and IN A CHAIR, but they did the right thing.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

The Dr can give her something for the nausea and her mouth can be made more comfortable. Often the pain meds will cause nausea as will other meds. Are they making sure she has regular bowel movements as this also causes nausea. Make an appointment to see the Dr at the rehab place and ask these questions directly don't be afraid of the white coats. If the general opinion is that Mom is at the end of life you can take her home as long as the family is prepared to take care of her. Call in hospice and they will help you get her home and provide equipment and support. Is there anything she does fancy to eat, there is no reason the facility can't provide anything reasonable. Bring something in yourself if she would like. Make it soft and easy to swallow and really appetizing. A small portion to start and gradually increase.
It is very difficult to accept when a loved one is dying to make the change from getting better to comfort care is not easy, but before you make that assumption ask some difficult questions It seems from what you have said she is not receiving the best possible care. Maybe she should be moved back to the hospital for more acute care. How was she doing when she was moved to rehab? Was she generally healthy before she broke her femur? A month is too short a time to loose a great deal of weight if she was previously healthy. Maybe you just had not noticed or she hid it from you that she was declining. Lots of things to think about. Blessings. many others will answer with differing opinions
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Sounds like she doesn't like the environment at Rehab. When my Dad was in rehab after having surgery, he couldn't wait to get home to his own bed, his own food and the familiar sounds of his own house. Maybe your mother is the same way.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.