Hello everyone. I need some advice. I am trying to decide if I should put my 87 year old mom who is incontinent and dependant on a walker in a private room at a facility for 6 residents or a shared room at a Board and Care with 4 residents? If she is placed in a private room what are the chances will she just seclude herself as she is very shy? If she is placed in a shared room then she will not have privacy when they change her diaper. My mom said she didn't care either way but deep down I know her heart is broken because she wants to go home with me but my home is a two story, bedrooms are upstairs and she can't climb stairs. Plus I have 4 kids 3 of which is going to start college and will need me to help them financially. I can't commit to the 24 hours care she will need.
The doctor said she is unable to live on her own anymore. The private room will be $600.00 more a month but it is larger and can accommodate my family for private visits. We are using her money to spend down so we can hopefully qualify for Medi-Cal. She will have maybe 5 months of rent. The facility doctor also said she is declining as she is now 90 pounds and stated she might have a year of life left.
I'm so stress about what would be best for her. Any advice will be appreciated. Thanks.
For the difference of $600, I would go with the AL but that all depends on how Medicaid in your State works. I would not put her in an AL only to find that you will need to move her in 5 months because Medicaid won't pay.
He actually enjoyed his roommates and they were great buddies.
Unless the roommate is totally catatonic then it will probably be a good thing for your mom.
Someone there to change the sounds that go bump in the night can be a tremendous comfort.
My dads facility never dealt with private issues with his roommate present. They always asked one or the other to go sit in the living room or on the patio for a few minutes.
I would try to put her where she can age out, as it is referred to in the board and cares I have experience with. If she never has to move again, that is ideal.
And if in fact she only has a year left, I would certainly look into getting hospice involved at this point as well. They will supply any needed equipment, supplies, and medications, all covered 100% under moms Medicare. And will have a nurse come and check her vitals once a week to start, and aides to come bathe her a couple times a week. Just something to think about. I wish you the best.
I am glad you recognize your limitations, and that you are honest about them. Not everything can be made perfect. If the cost is crucial, give this a try. If it doesn't work out await a private room.