It has been about 5 years since my mom has been estranged from her two boys for about 5 years. She says, "one stabbed me in the back and the other stabbed me in the heart."
I tell her back, "mom, you can be disappointed in them, you can be angry with them....but I don't think you 'hate' your children".
She says, "No. I really do hate them."
How do I deal with this? Has anyone out there dealt with this? She is 95 and one half;)
To make things worse, they both think I have brainwashed her, coerced her, and somehow MADE her think this way about her boys. Since she never talked to them, or told them her feelings, I can understand why they have these feelings. I she has sent them letters, I have sent them recordings of her yelling about them, and her talking to a friend, but they STILL blame me for our family being destroyed. (These words coming from the NEXT generation, their kids, that have never visited her, called her or written to her) They are just taking their actions from their parents who never called, visited, or wrote.....except for the 4 holidays where EVERY parent gets a call.....even the ones who beat them to an inch from their lives. Mom was a GREAT Mom and yet they both found no time for her.
Anyway, back to my FIRST question.....what should I say to "Is it OK to hate your children?"