My Mom is so angry about being in the NH that she is lashing out verbally and physically. Any advice? - AgingCare.com

My Mom is so angry about being in the NH that she is lashing out verbally and physically. Any advice?

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Don't want her in psych. She has stage four cancer. Dreamed of just loving her to death and that is not happening. Her cancer may have gone to her brain but she is in hospice and they say they cannot check for those answers. I am so sad. Her lashing out is affecting others and talk of the psych scares me. Is there any way there may be answers I am not seeing. One day she escaped out the back door and was found on the ground. Mind you, she is in a wheelchair and cannot walk, but I think she has moments of thinking she can. They have put a monitor on her bed and chair( she fall out of her bed as she attempts to get out on her own. I am so sad and afraid and need all the help I can get to understand what I can do next.

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cclarnie: I am so sorry that you are going through this difficult time with your mom. I agree with Eyerishlass that sending her to a psych unit would be the last resort. I hope they are not just trying to get her off their floor without trying new meds, dosages, etc. I seems that there are other options available but they don't seem to be trying. She needs more than just monitors to help her. They should be seeking ways to help her where she is, not move her because she's agitated. I feel for you and pray that you get the help you need for her. When she gets the help, then you'll feel better too.
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I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time with your mom. Rarely does end of life look like we thought it would.

You say that the nursing home is discussing sending her to a psych unit? What has the nursing home tried to get them to the point where they would send her to a psych unit? New meds? Adjusted their dosages? I would think that sending someone out to a mental health facility would be a last resort.

Your mom is dying of cancer and can't advocate for herself. You have to be her advocate. Have a meeting with the Director of Nursing. Find out what the nursing home is doing to help your mom's agitation. Monitors are fine but they do nothing to help your mom feel less agitated.

It might help to speak with the social worker. Let the social worker know that you are uncomfortable with the prospect of your mom being sent to a psych unit and express your sadness and fear to the social worker. Be proactive for your mom's sake.
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