My Mom (90) is always so cold. She wants the house so hot I cannot sleep at night. Advice?

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I have my vent closed, but still can feel the heat. Her room is the coldest one in the house. I've tried to get her to change with me, but she refuses. In the daytime I spend most of my time in my room where at least I can breathe. She only moves to go to the bathroom. The rest of the day stays in her recliner in the living room with the heat turned up and another space heater right next to her. She dresses in sweats but refuses to use an electric blanket in her chair (she does use one at night). I have been moms only caregiver for 8 years and it gets worse every winter. Anyone have any ideas about how we can continue to live together and keep her warm and prevent me from having a heat stroke?

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I couldn't sleep in sleeves. Mind you, I couldn't sleep in a nightgown either, but even t-shirt sleeves drive me mad at night. Anything (edit: that I'm wearing, not blankets) that moves in a different direction from my body drives me mad at night, all that pulling and tugging - I'm all about the cami and shorts. So I kind of get it.

Winter weight down duvet?
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Those fleece sheet sets are wonderful too.
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Hmm, perhaps she does like to complain!

My mom was cold, but at least she was willing to accept measures to make her comfortable.

Someone who insists on sleeping in a sleeveless nightgown and then complains about being cold, well, that takes headstrong to a new level of meaning, doesn't it?

Is your mother beginning to be cognitively impaired, do you think?

Might she like getting a pretty flannel nightgown as a surprise?
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After posting my question I realized I could "search" this site. I found many others who have the same issue that their elder parents are cold.

I read all of the suggestions and answers and agree with many who replied that their elder parent is unwilling to change anything to address the issue and/or to compromise.

My 90-yr-old headstrong mom will not use the quiet oscillating heater I bought for her room nor use any electric blanket, fearing a fire during the night, and she still sleeps in a polyester short sleeveless nightgown. She won't change rooms with me either (mine is an oven even with vents and door closed, and hers (on the east side of the house, larger, and with a vaulted ceiling) is cold.

Frankly, I'm beginning to think she likes to complain......... :(
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momscaregiver1, I know what you mean, in my parents house my Mom [late 90's] would be dressed like she was preparing for an Arctic exposition... and my Dad [mid-90's] would be dressed like he was at the beach. The house in winter was at 82-85, which made it too hot for me to even breath. I couldn't wait to get back to my 68-70 degree home.

As GardenArtist had mentioned, there is a temperature difference between north facing bedrooms and south facing bedrooms. My home office is in one of the north facing bedrooms and it is darn cold in here... yet the master bedroom on the south side is comfortably warm. Couple years ago I put in new windows and that didn't make any difference, it's just the nature of the beast on the north side of the house.

One thing that did help my Mom are thermo underwear, such as Cuddl-Dudds which are light weight and easy to place shirts/pants over them. And tuck in that shirt into the pants, that can make a big difference. Sleep with socks on.

Now, medicine can make one feel colder.... my Mom takes thyroid pills and so does my sig other and both feel chilled. Some people with diabetes will feel colder, too.
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I can relate. For some reason most seniors stay cold. Every NH and AL that I visit has the heat turned way up. They are multiple reasons for this.

In order to keep your mom in your house and not suffocate from heat, I would try to make a plan to address it. Hopefully, your mom will get on board with it, but if not, that would signal to me that she isn't able to appreciate the problem. So, if she can't appreciate the problem, then I would take measure to address it. If she stays warm, then she will eventually thank you.

Assuming there is something about her room that makes it colder, then I would switch her room, even if she is not able to understand why. If it's not going to make that much of a difference, then don't bother. I would place digital thermometers in several rooms, monitor them for a few days to make sure there is actually a substantial difference.

Can you set up an area for her to watch tv, read, etc., that has a door? That way you can block the heat vents in the rest of the house. You might have to put a thermostat in her room though or the heat will keep running based on the lower temps near the thermostat.

I would be very careful with electric blankets and throws. They have to be carefully monitored and I would not trust a senior to handle it. It can get very hot.

Insist she wear two layers of clothes to keep her warmer. Thick socks and warm boot type bedroom shoes may help too.

I hate to say this, but even with lots of heat, many seniors never get warm enough and will continue to complain of being cold. Even if it's very warm.
When I finally got my loved one to open the door at her house, she had the heat turned to 87 and it was over 75 degrees outside! She was in bed wrapped up in blankets and didn't think it was hot! She was soon diagnosed with dementia, though not all dementia patients stay cold.
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Another thought is to add the clear insulating plastic covers on the windows to help retain the heat, then either purchase or make thick drapes. When I moved in over 30 years ago, I bought bolts of thick corduroy and made drapes from them. With 2 layers of drapes, it helped keep out a lot of the drafts.

You might also want to research other in-home energy conservation methods to see if you can keep as much heat in your mother's room as possible.
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78-80? I could never do that! My comfortable temperature is 73-74. When I lived with my mother, I stayed in my room whenever I could. I had a window air conditioner and it was always on.

It's tough even now when I have to do chores in her house, such as changing the bed linens for her. I always work up a sweat. I try to spend as little time in her house as possible.
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Oh, the thermostat wars. I feel your pain, momscaregiver. I have been a veteran in the thermostat wars for 6 years now. It really isn't the house being cold that makes them cold. And I learned from my father that they can still be cold even if the house is at 100 degrees. Everything else around them wilts and dies, but they are still cold. It is low metabolism and poor circulation due to disease and sedentary lifestyle.

I found the only way through it is to compromise. We set the thermostat on 78-80 in summer and 72-75 in winter. On mornings my mother needs the house warmer during cold months, I close my vents and open the windows. That keeps the rabbit and me from baking. Poor rabbit! Imagine being in a hot house with a fur coat on.

Somehow we have worked it out, but the elders have had to compromise. I would not have been able to stay if they had not. I guess you can call the compromise a treaty that keeps each person reasonably comfortable, though nobody has their ideal conditions. It can be hard for older and younger to live together, since their needs can be so different. Heat stress can harm us both psychologically and physically, so there has to be compromise.
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Thank you all for your answers. The one thing reading them has made me realize is, because my mother is 'stubborn' and refuses to do anything she thinks is an inconvenience to her or changes her routine, nothing will help, because she won't do anything to help me improve her situation. She won't cover up except when she is in bed at night or takes her afternoon nap, she won't go outside the house except to her doctor appointments and an occasional trip to the beauty shop, she won't walk or exercise in anyway to help her circulation, so I guess I just need to deal with it the best I can.
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