My Mom (90) is always so cold. She wants the house so hot I cannot sleep at night. Advice?

I have my vent closed, but still can feel the heat. Her room is the coldest one in the house. I've tried to get her to change with me, but she refuses. In the daytime I spend most of my time in my room where at least I can breathe. She only moves to go to the bathroom. The rest of the day stays in her recliner in the living room with the heat turned up and another space heater right next to her. She dresses in sweats but refuses to use an electric blanket in her chair (she does use one at night). I have been moms only caregiver for 8 years and it gets worse every winter. Anyone have any ideas about how we can continue to live together and keep her warm and prevent me from having a heat stroke?

Answers 1 to 10 of 18
You might try to investigate why her room is so cold and try to alleviate the problem. Add window film to drafty windows, insulate around window frames and along the base of the floor and electrical outlets. Your furnace guy could check the air flow to her room and perhaps add a booster fan.
If she is using an electric blanket she really shouldn't need to have the room so hot, in fact the blanket works more efficiently when the room temp is cooler. Are you sure it is still actually working? My mom is always cold, but once she is under the covers she usually doesn't complain as it is like lying in a bed of coals lol. Some time we just need to accept the fact that the perception of being cold is due to poor circulation and the body not working any more. Tell her that they don't keep it so hot at the nursing home, which is where she may end up if she burns through your good will ;)
You know, when my mom was in Independent Living (and before thst, at home), she always kept the heat turned up, refused a/c and the like and complained constantly of the cold if she was in someone's house or car, even when wearing a sweater. Now, in the nursing home, she wears sweaters and shawls, and although the temperature is a normal 72 or so, she never complains. I'm convinced it's because she has other stuff to focus on.
Thanks for your answer. We have had her room checked out. Since it is the coldest one in the house year round, the only thing that could cause it is because it rarely gets any sun on that part of the roof due to a huge tree. We've even had the branches cut way back, but it still gets shade all summer which I was told must be why the room never actually heats up enough for her. She does stay warm as long as she is under the electric blanket, but starts complaining about the cold as soon as she gets up to go to the bathroom during the night or gets ups in the morning (at 5:30am). And she refuses to use an electric blanket unless she is in bed. She thinks if she can't hear the heater running then it's not heating properly. She rarely moves since she can barley walk and uses her hover-round to get around when she does get up and that's a big part of why she is always cold. We don't discuss the 'nursing home' issue since she knows unless I was totally incapable of caring for her she would never end up in one.
Top Answer
I have a friend who also complains about the cold, even in the Spring. He's 50. The opioid-based psych meds he takes slow down everything and are probably the source of his misery. In the meantime we're doing yoga, going for long walks, and working out at a nearby gym whenever he's not b ___ ching about how cold it is. ... Yesterday I told him to move back to Puerto Rico where he'll be warm and toasty surrounded by flea-bitten dogs and the insects he misses so much.
As for your Mom, read up on Raynaud's Disease and the cold people feel when their heart isn't pumping blood in all 4 cylinders. In a nutshell, I think she has poor blood circulation and right now the best approach would be getting her to move about inside and outside the house.
When my mother slowed down and just sat all day, she started to complain about being cold. We bought an oil radiator to keep her room toasty warm. The last four years she started to lose body fat and was down to skin and bones. I made her a lap blanket and shoulder shawl and leg warmers since she insisted on wearing skirts and long sleeve Tshirts every day. It is a very common complaint.
The colder room might also be that way b/c of a heating configuration, if the ducts have longer runs and the registers are farther away from the furnace. Just an observation, not a professional opinion.

Notwithstanding the tree issue, if that side of the house doesn't get as much sun because of closeness of an adjoining house, direction (i.e., North), those also could be factors.

My furnace is centrally located, but houses are close together and heat doesn't reach the north as easily. That side is always colder, sometimes by as much as 5 degrees.

Insulation could also be a factor.

I had thought that older people became cold more easily because they don't move around as much, but realized that can happen to someone seriously ill as well. My sister and I had always been warm, but she experienced a drastic change to being cold almost constantly during the last months of her battle with cancer.

Moving and being active really does make a difference. Even if you could get your mother to do some gentle arm raises it would help.

You can try to get her to wear 2 sweatshirts, with the one underneath being a newer one as they do tend to lose some insulating value over the years. Fleece and good quality, thick flannel are also comforting and warm. I made a flannel vest to wear underneath sweatshirts.

If you make anything from flannel, make sure it's 100% cotton; some of the synthetics aren't as warm.

Drinking warm fluids might help as well....warm or hot cider, tea.
Leg warmers are also a great idea; I use them when I shovel snow to protect against wind blown chills.
Thank you all for your answers. The one thing reading them has made me realize is, because my mother is 'stubborn' and refuses to do anything she thinks is an inconvenience to her or changes her routine, nothing will help, because she won't do anything to help me improve her situation. She won't cover up except when she is in bed at night or takes her afternoon nap, she won't go outside the house except to her doctor appointments and an occasional trip to the beauty shop, she won't walk or exercise in anyway to help her circulation, so I guess I just need to deal with it the best I can.
Oh, the thermostat wars. I feel your pain, momscaregiver. I have been a veteran in the thermostat wars for 6 years now. It really isn't the house being cold that makes them cold. And I learned from my father that they can still be cold even if the house is at 100 degrees. Everything else around them wilts and dies, but they are still cold. It is low metabolism and poor circulation due to disease and sedentary lifestyle.

I found the only way through it is to compromise. We set the thermostat on 78-80 in summer and 72-75 in winter. On mornings my mother needs the house warmer during cold months, I close my vents and open the windows. That keeps the rabbit and me from baking. Poor rabbit! Imagine being in a hot house with a fur coat on.

Somehow we have worked it out, but the elders have had to compromise. I would not have been able to stay if they had not. I guess you can call the compromise a treaty that keeps each person reasonably comfortable, though nobody has their ideal conditions. It can be hard for older and younger to live together, since their needs can be so different. Heat stress can harm us both psychologically and physically, so there has to be compromise.

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