Mom is addicted to her phone and refuses to try any other activities. Any suggestions?

Hi Julia,this is a hard one! These days, we are all addicted to our phones/internet, right? It's so easy to be addicted when there is nothing else to do. Here are a couple ideas: Do you have any friends or family members or church members who have kids? They can come visit and maybe the child can engage her in some activity. If your mom must be "connected" , then make it productive: there are many apps out there that are memory games or brain games, at least she will be exercising her mind! Maybe she can join an online stroke support group....other stroke survivors may be able to encourage her to to be more active! You can ask her to do some online research that you wanted to do yourself, at least she will be helping you out! She could contribute to the household by doing the necessary online shopping!

And if you are worried about her neck and eyes, maybe an ipad with a bigger screen would help her. (you know, if you can't beat them....join them and make it better!!)

Call your area agency on aging to see if there is a friendly visitor program available in your area, or check out the local senior center for activities. Also, look for stroke support groups in your area, she needs to see that other people who have had a stroke can still be active!

And I live in California too. You need to apply for her medi-cal! She will qualify for In-Home Support Services which will provide help in the home, and they will also pay for Adult day Health Care. And California also has the medi-cal assisted living waiver program, meaning they will pay for assisted living! But not in Nevada county where you live. Here is a link to the state website: https://www.dhcs.ca.gov/services/ltc/Pages/AssistedLivingWaiver.aspx
maybe there is a close by county that honors the program.

Good luck to you!!! There are options!

You said it all when you said she won't try and comes up with excuses for her resistance to every idea you have.

No one knows her like you do and if she resists your ideas I don't know how anyone else could help with ideas.

I would definitely try to find a small care home that would accept what she makes as full payment. I found that was all my dad could afford, they don't have the same amenities as a large facility but they feed, house and care for people at a much lower rate.

Thank you for the responses. I have definitely thought about how I am “robbing my future self,” especially because I’m at the point where I want to get married and start my own family, but I haven’t come up with another solution. She is not on Medicaid, but can qualify for it. However, Medicaid only pays for care if you require a nursing home, which she does not need at this point. We toured pretty much every assisted living in town, and it’s just not financially feasible, as they all cost almost double her monthly income. I’ve taken her on outings to the park and to church, which she enjoys. I was just hoping for some advice on some activities for her to do while at home.

As others said... you're too young for this. She's only 65? Do you want her to be there with you for another 20, 30 years?

Move her to a facility where she can do whatever she wants.

You are to young to be tied to someone that will not participate in their own life and recovery. She may never be 100% but guaranteed she would be better than she is now with some effort. Did you hear the doctor say no need or did she tell you this? My dad would tell me a line of malarkey about what the doctors told him, I knew better because I was present when the conversations took place. It was always perverted in his memory to best serve him and what he wanted.

I realize your primary question was about the phone use, but -- oh dear, IMHO you are too young to take this on as her care needs will only be increasing. Is she on Medicaid? If I were in your shoes I would find her section 8 housing or a AL close by. She will at least have easier access to social interaction in those places. Maybe her phone is also her main connection to the outside world? Hopefully she is not gambling or talking to "sketchy" people...

In-home care "sounds" nice but often winds up being a sterile environment for the LO (seeing same people only all the time) and the caregiving very intense for the child. Also, you should not be paying for any of her living expenses or care. She should be paying you rent/utilities. If not then you are robbing your future self.

Transitioning her to another care scenario will be easier said than done, but I think it is essential you do it. Your mother is a big girl and can adjust. She won't like it, but neither will you, eventually. It will be "for her own good". Please read the many thousands of posts on this forum of caregiver burnout by well-meaning and loving family members. Please know what you're signing up for if you continue down this path. Blessings and may you have the courage to make an important decision.

I wish I could help with this. Sounds a lot like my grandson! And when I get a clue about him I will let you know, pass it on, and you can see if it works for HER. When he got a job this summer off from college in the very field he is studying I thought "This is GREAT! Will keep him off the phone" and then turns out he just stayed up most of the night catching up with his games. Lost quite a lot of weight and was exhausted. This seems a societal problem to me now, and you just let Mom know she fits right in with the young crowd.
That's on a light note. We both know it is important for her to "use it or lose it" in terms of her diabetes which is so hard on every system, esp circulatory. But I have not a CLUE how to help you. Setting limits with a 65 year old is harder than with the college kids.