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After DH had 2 massive heart attacks, he did NOT want me at his FU appts. His dr requested that I be there.

I sat slightly behind DH so he had to turn around to look at me. The dr said if he made some outrageous and untrue comment, I was to make some kind of signal to him. (OF course this wasn't the drs first rodeo!!).

Dh would state that he was exercising (lie) and I'd raise my eyebrows to the sky. Was he getting UP to eat and sitting at the table or demanding meals in bed? (Again, eyebrows up!) Basically he lied about all his behaviors and rehabs. He was initially a really pretty good patient, but is usually the case, he long since quit trying to behave and eats and drinks (soda) and sleeps a LOT.

I cannot care enough for both of us. He has grand ideas for retirement, but I know he will probably sleep until he dies. Nothing and no one can tell him what to do.

DH's mother is an amazing Narc. I think he has learned some of his behavior from her. Until he wants to change, he won't.

Also--I can send notes to his doctors on MyCHart and I do, sometimes. They are grateful for the insight because DH lies about everything. You have to have the 'right' to send notes visa My Chart, so that needs to be set up.
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lowlowlow May 2021
Oh, I'm so sorry. Yes, I use MyChart all the time. I will try sitting behind and sending signals next time. The lying is one of the hardest parts. Many thanks.
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Have you tried sending the doc notes and videos of her behavior prior to appointments?
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lowlowlow May 2021
Not yet but I can try that. Makes a lot of sense because I know when she goes she'll say nothing is the matter. Thank you.
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Thank you. I was afraid of that. She needs medication but mention the word and she attacks and turns you into her enemy. I take her to her MD and she swears she's fine, no problems. I'm trying to appeal to her vanity to get her to warm up to mental health care but it's not working. Involuntary care will be really ugly.
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bundleofjoy May 2021
hugs!!

if she’s literally right in the middle of a psychosis, then it’s difficult/impossible to reason with the person.

it’s probably not the 1st time? you’ve witnessed it before?

psychosis does eventually go away, but sometimes it takes weeks/months (can be for example 6 months for a psychosis to die down).

a person who has psychoses normally has a pattern:
...the cycle lasts roughly the same amount of time
...the person does/says similar things during every cycle

the only way to stop the psychosis in its tracks, is forced medicine. even then, it takes some days for the psychosis to die down.

sending lots of courage to you and your mother!!
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Aside from getting her involuntarily admitted to a psychiatric unit (which you can do if she becomes a danger to herself or others), there is really no way to force her to do either of these things.
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