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I have come to the point (which has been very difficult) that she really needs to be in a care facility. However, she will probably never agree to go. What options do I have, if any? Really need help. thanks

If you have POA then its time to use it. If Mom does not know who you are, then she needs 24/7 care. Its no longer what she wants, its what she needs. Yes, its not going to be easy and yes she is not going to like the change but its now her safety at stake. Those who suffer from Dementia like familiar. But if Mom does not know you her Dementia has progressed where she cannot be alone.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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No denying it is an emotionally wrenching eventuality that many of us on this forum have had to work through. If you are her POA and she is not faring well by herself in her home (and if she has ALZ she WILL need increasingly more intense care), then the decision is really already made for the both of you. It is inevitable, so the real issue is: do you transition her sooner or later? She does not need to agree or be cooperative, just like a child who doesn't want to leave the amusement park at closing time -- you know what the dangers will be so you act to protect them whether they like it or not. The caregiving arrangement must work for you as well, and IMO it includes your peace of mind. If it is possible to convince her she's going on a trip or visit and the facility is a hotel, I've heard others employ this technique to get them there. Also the facilities will have ideas and will help, as they do it every week. I wish you much strength and wisdom and peace in your heart.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Try this website as a first step:

https://www.ncdhhs.gov/divisions/aging-and-adult-services/adult-day-services/daas-area-agencies-aging

You should be able to find local resources for advice for you, and information about services for your mother.

Best of luck, let us know how you get on.
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Reply to Countrymouse
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are you POA for Health? does she have a living trust?
she may not even know you moved her, that is if you can find a place right now with covid. a friend moved his mom, and mom didn't even know she was in a new place. she settled right in.
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Reply to MAYDAY
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Does she have funds to go private? If not, you need to start by looking at Medicare and Medicaid. There is a lot of information on site about both of them. Click on Care Topics at the top right of the screen, then click on M for Medicaid on the alphabet that comes up, and you will see articles plus old questions and discussions. Then do it again for Medicare, which is a couple of steps to the right. Sometimes a care facility will take over doing this for you, but it would be a good idea to check the general information first. It's a lot of work - good luck!
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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JoAnn29 Nov 7, 2020
Why Medicare? They don't pay for care in facilities. Only when in rehab.
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