Mom is 85 , her health is declining. She needs assistance and help in everyway. Who can I call? I do not know what to do.

Mom is 85 and in need of some financial aid or care. My dad was a WWII (one of the first navy seals), he passed away left my mom a widow in 1962. Mom raised three children and later in life remarried and divorced. The VA has denied assistance and the reason because my mother had remarried. The Assisted living want to provide all kinds of services (the cost are more than she can afford) if mom does not meet nursing home requirements, than I would have to take her into my home. I cannot help mom with all her needs. What can I do? I have called for assistance, and I have been passed from the VA benefits to writing congressman to meeting with nursing home staff, I have called medicaid and I have hit dead ends everywhere, should I hire an attorney? I am lost with all the needs and fiancial burdens. I do not know what to do and it is only getting worse. Moms health is declining and I cannot provide her needs, but I am worried that I may have to do what I can until one of us dies... I love my mother very much and have been her caregiver for years but the burden and financial needs are coming to a head.... Can anyone advise me .. If mom where to live with me I am afraid it would destroy me and my marriage... what should I do... ?? A loving son...