Mom is 80 with dementia. I want to take her with us on vacation. She says yes to going to places, but then she never goes. Advice?
I’m mom's main caregiver. I’m going on a very much needed vacation, to the ocean. Mom says she wants to go, but I feel like the same thing will happen like it has with just getting her out of the house for other things... she’s only left 3 times in the last 7 mos. But once she gets out - she’s so happy and enjoys herself, it stimulates her mind. She most likely won’t remember it much, but I think it would be so healthy for her. My siblings say don’t tell her where your going or that it’s a 5 hr drive... but it’s not like driving around town. Its just me and I’m committed to doing what I need to do... just don’t know how to go about it. I know I don’t have to, but I’m with her most everyday and getting out seeing other people has always helped stimulate her mind.
I see many seniors out with their children on vacation... wondering how do they do it ?
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thanks so much
Seeing other people is nice, but her dementia isn't going to be helped by that. She isn't going to improve. The trip would throw her out of her routine and her familiar surroundings... familiarity is vital for people with dementia. She will have a hard time settling back in once home. Maybe one reason she didn't participate in vacations before is because it was just too much newness at once, too overwhelming?
If she didn't participate in activities before, what makes you think she would this time?
You cannot take care of Mom if you don't take care of yourself. Part of self-care is knowing when you need a break. Caregiving for Mom is like a workplace, and you are her employee. No sane employer would expect their employee to never take breaks and be at the ready 24/7 for their job!
Go take your vacation solo. There is no reason to feel guilty! You're doing nothing wrong. She may have been happy on vacations at times, but she hasn't really enjoyed them. If you take her, you're still doing your job, just at a different place. It will not be a break for you or her.