Mom insists on wearing dangerous sandals - Any thoughts?

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My 91-yr-old Mom who lives with my husband and me often wears loose, open-backed sandals. She knows she is even less steady (wobbly) on her feet and shuffles since her slight stroke. I have told her the sandals don't look safe to me the way she walks and home health care therapists I've asked in front of her tell her THEY don't feel the sandals are safe either. Mom stopped using her walker sooner than they recommended as well. But Mom insists that SHE is careful and SHE doesn't plan to fall. It seems the therapists are working with what she is willing to do or not do as Mom seems determined to do things her own way. I am concerned and wish, with their expertise, that they would be a little more insistent.

My sister said in the end maybe we should just let her fall. My brother, a neurologist who lives 4 hrs. away, said arguing about it will just cause hard feelings and perhaps the most I can do is to let her know how much better I would feel if she wouldn't wear them. He said in his experience that most people one would think might fall -- don't. Mom and I have had a few discussions about all of this already. If Mom WERE to fall, I would be the one taking care of all of the many details that might incur. Naturally, I'd love to just get rid of the sandals, but it seems that this is Mom's choice to make. Any suggestions - or has anyone had similar dilemmas?

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Shoes and hairstyle are two subjects a woman will not compromise on. Find out what she likes and buy her a pair that she wants but wouldn't buy for herself.
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I threw my Moms slippers out ( when she wasn't looking) and bought similar ones that were safer but not safest. Do what you can .
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Give22 I feel so bad for you...You are probably so tired of fighting all the battles...Of course it's easy for your sister to say "just let her".. like you said she's not the one who'll have to take care of Mom when she does fall...

Tough love time!! You can not let her fall..

It sure is mentally exhausting being a caregiver. Good luck. I hope you win this battle...
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I know exactly what you mean. My mother wears these house slippers with no back. I ask her to wear something more supportive, but she says she isn't going to fall. She has many shoes, but prefers those slippers. Why, I don't know. They would even make me shuffle to wear them. Trying to get them away from her, however, would start WWIII, so I gave up trying. She is the most stubborn, mule-headed woman living.
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What a hard situation. If she falls, it just makes your life harder.

Can you ask her what she likes about wearing them? Are they cool and airy? Easy to get on and off? Is there a chance she could get that benefit in a shoe with more support? A strappy sandal like a Teva, or a moccasin with a back? Try to let her make the decision, so she doesn't just get stubborn. Sorry.
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Thanks .. might work .. worth a try.
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OH, I also use guilt. " Do it for me mom....for my peace of mind....I will worry less...blah blah blah." :)
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My mom has had many falls and is now in a wheelchair 75% of the time. She also has dementia. She is very stubborn and holds on desperately to her independence. I delicately choose my battles with her, but when it comes to SAFETY, I give her the tough love routine. Buy her a pair of those soft moccasins with the grooved rubber soles. The are sooooo comfortable and very safe. Good luck!
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