My mom is in SNF post pneumonia. She has been declining PT for different reasons, breathlessness sometimes and stomach cramps and diarrhea others. I'm told that they don't do tests or administer extra medicines unless requested, so I've requested a CBC and chest x-ray to see if the pneumonia has cleared up. She asked for something for the bowel problem and someone told her they were going to get her something but it hadn't come in yet. The PT guy told her that if she doesn't participate, she will have to leave the facility. I have no idea what I should do with her if that happens. I've asked for a psychiatrist to come see her for her depression and hopelessness, but they don't have a full-time person on staff. I've also contacted her regular LCSW, but she hasn't contacted me back. If she can't get past the depression, there's not much hope for her to regain any physical strength. She won't qualify for medicaid yet...I tried to tell her about the look back, but it's only been 3 years since her transfer of assets (which was actually money she owed me, but not sure if Medicaid will accept our agreement). If she has to go self-pay for full time care, we'll both be broke in a few months. I feel awful...I've been trying to be encouraging, but I'm losing my patience with her. She has made such a long string of bad choices and didn't take care of herself, and now I feel like I'm stuck. I can't take care of her at home unless she is stronger. I'm wondering if she feels like she has nothing to look forward to and just wants to die, if I should bring up the subject of hospice, or if that would make me a horrible person as if I were telling her that I was giving up on her? It wouldn't be so bad, but I have a disabled son who I'm trying to help gain his independence and my daughter is starting college and working nearly full time. Husband just started a new job and there are so many decisions to be made that it's getting really stressful. It just feels like there's not enough of me to go around.