Mom in rehab facility, and wants to leave. Any thoughts on this?

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Mom has been there two weeks, and desperately wants to go home. She was hospitalized with double pneumonia then sent to rehab for mobility issues. I know it's a process, but it's been two weeks and they still let her wear depends instead of getting up to go to bathroom. I spoke to PT yesterday and he said at least two more weeks are needed. I guess my question is it supposed to take quite so long? She was using walker before this and only wore depends at night. I go every day to see her, and it can wear down a person after a while. Especially since she has been depressed last couple days. PT also mentioned she seems confused at times which does worry me. She is on 3 liters oxygen for lung disease and I think it should be increased during therapy BC they say she gets tired and needs to sit. Any thoughts on this?

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Thanks for comments! I will try staying shorter visits, and she was in better spirits but honestly I don't know how well the care really is. The cna's are great but RN's not so much. Rather not go in details at this point. The MD has only seen her once. I helped her up to bathroom today so I could see for myself where her mobility is. Not that great. Seems like where she was before going there! We did have in home PT but just wasn't improving fast enough. I did everything for three weeks, but have back and neck issues so lifting her was killing me. I just wish she could get her legs stronger so she comes home soon.
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Ahmijoy Jul 20, 2018
Remember, Dianne, your mom has been ill. To have pneumonia with already compromised lungs took a lot out of her. It may not be the “fault” of the rehab that she has backslid a bit. In addition, if she is on new medications her body is also acclimating to them. You don’t mention how old she is, but as we age it takes longer to bounce back, and your expectations may be set too high for her.

My husband was in rehab for 4 months and never saw the doctor. Really. The aides were the ones we relied on for his care and for information. Of course your rehab isn’t going to give your mom the care she would get at home from you. These places are always understaffed. But that doesn’t mean Mom gets shoddy care. Give it another week or so. If Mom doesn’t seem any better, have a chat with the RN. If no satisfaction, go to the D.O. N. Take a deep breath and let the rehab do their job. After a week, if Mom doesn’t seem any better, then you can start questioning things.
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I was told for every day in the hospital, you need 3 days of rehab. This is for someone who is in to get strength back. As long as Medicare sees improvement they will continue to pay till the patient hits a plateau. Mom was in the hospital 4 days, they kept her 18 days. I told them she wasn't staying after 20 days that Medicare pays for. Talk to Moms doctor. Tell him what u said here. Maybe she can get therapy at home.
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Dianne38 Jul 20, 2018
She was in hospital 3 days. But her mobility has been struggling for like five weeks before this. She had a epidural injection in back and soon after she couldn't walk well. Not sure if it's related.
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After being hospitalized for heart issues, my husband was put in rehab for lack of mobility and stayed there for 4 months. He, too became totally wiped out during therapy.

Your appearance reminds her that she is not home. It reminds her that she wants to go home and she thinks you are the one to get her there. Don’t go every day. If you’re worried about her, call the charge nurse. That’s what I did with my husband and my mother when she was in a nursing home. If you are concerned that her oxygen level is not where it should be, speak with the nurse about that as well. Bear in mind that if she sees you are upset about her being there and disagree with how she’s being treated, she will take her cue from you.
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Dianne38 Jul 20, 2018
Great advice! I didn't really think of that. So I will stay shorter visits, and skip a day here and there. I feel like I am what cheers her up but her getting better is most important too. Thanks:")
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This may not be right, but I would visit much less often, stay shorter periods of time with my loved one in rehab, but then I was not immediate family.

I told her that I was the one to call when she needed to bust out of there, we laughed. There were no calls, she was someone who actually liked it there, talking to her roommates.

It has been suggested to answer saying: " as soon as you can walk", "as soon as the doctor says it is best.", and to distract her. Say, "I am going to go check", and bring back a jello or ice cream treat to distract her, not bringing up discharge again.

Another possibility, her pleas are repetitions, not really understanding where home is. Some patients in cognitive decline may mean their childhood home.

You could say: "We took this opportunity to have the house tented and fumigated" , or "The carpet is being cleaned tomorrow". (Depending on her level of understanding).

Another idea, have PT ordered by the doctor as In Home Care, and take her home with a plan in place, imo.

Others will be able to give you better answers soon. In the meantime, take a break just for you.
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Dianne38 Jul 20, 2018
Thank you Send help, also great advice. Glad to hear of others experience and understanding:")
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