My mom, 92, recently fell down the basement stairs she should not have been on in the first place. I am sole caregiver. But that's how she rolls (no pun intended). She is a difficult person, often angry and obstinate; she rejects restrictions on her independence. She fractured shoulder, arm, ribs. Arm in sling. Not life threatening. After a couple of days in hospital, they moved her to rehab center where she has been getting excellent care. On oxytocin for pain. She can walk, but getting out bed, shifting position in bed, dressing -- all these require help from staff. Sometimes she doesn't have the energy to stand-up. Yesterday, when I visited she got it in her head that was being discharged today. This is a fiction. She still needs care and they they have her on a program regain mobility and dress herself. When she does come home, home health care will likely be needed for more risky activities, like bathing.

(She also seems as if she is getting more forgetful. But could that be the medication?)

I told her that if she tries to self-discharge herself, I am not picking her up. My visit was fairly short and she started yelling at me.

I really can't take care of her much longer. With her out of the house in rehab for the past couple of weeks, it feels as if a great weight and a huge amount of continuous tension have been lifted. The idea of her coming home and needing even more help from me than she previously received has me completely depressed.

I don't know what my options are but I can't take it any longer. I don't even know what my question is.

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Start now talking to the SW. Ask for an evaluation to LTC. That this accident made you realize that Mom is more than you can handle now.

Understand that Mom is in great pain right now. But Oxy will cause her to be confused and kind of out there. At her age especially.

If she does come back home, have a lock put on the cellar door high up where she can't reach. But, this is a good time to consider LTC while in rehab.
Helpful Answer (1)

You have a chance to make things a lot better for yourself. This is a window of opportunity - take advantage of it!

Good idea to refuse to take her home if she insists on leaving rehab. Stand firm!

When it's time for approved discharge, tell the facility social worker that you cannot be her caregiver any longer, as she needs too much care for you to manage. Be firm.
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And get her tested for a uti.
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Talk with the social workers at the rehab about having a needs assessment done and look for a placement for Mum in a facility.
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