My mother has been in a lovely NH near me since November 2012. She frequently obsesses on leaving, going somewhere "nicer", i.e. a newer assisted living facility where she'll have her own apartment (currently has a private room), a dog and a cat, and hot and cold running nurses to wait on her hand and foot, which she has now - whining crying phone call this afternoon ... again.
She and I looked at an AL facility back in 2008 before I came to care for her and that's what she's fixated on today. Two days ago she was bent on opening a small store in the NH - with Parkinsons, dementia, a broken hip and another stroke in the last few months her speech is almost unintelligible and she cannot sit up or stand by herself or get to the bathroom, sometimes in a wheelchair, but mostly bed ridden.
A nurse accidentally knocked her very old touch table lamp off and it doesn't work any more. I will buy her another but she's now fixated on getting the NH to admit fault and buy her another.
An A1 narcissist, her whole life has been all about her and her wants and nothing and nobody was ever good enough, always yearning for and chasing "pie in the sky". I explained to her (as I always do, time and time again) that she's well looked after, wonderful staff and there's no way she can move (up) to AL.
She has no friends and there is no other family so I'm "it". We've never been close - she was a real "Mommie Dearest" - but I have done my duty by her and then some. I know it's just the disease, combined with narcissism, but as her condition worsens I've taken to turning the phone ringer off at supper time to preserve my sanity. For me there will be no escape or freedom until she dies.
Please don't tell me to agree with her. If I did she'd fixate totally on that, get the staff to start packing her stuff, the NH would be calling me constantly to see what's going on, she'd be calling me constantly anxious to go choose "somewhere new and nicer" and I'd likely just abandon her and the whole mess, just making sure her bills are paid and she has all she needs..
Time to rebuild my life ... I've aged terribly and my hair is falling out due too years of stress ... I am so done with this cr*p.