My mom (83) has been in a nursing home for 2 months and does not want to eat or drink. What can I do? - AgingCare.com

My mom (83) has been in a nursing home for 2 months and does not want to eat or drink. What can I do?

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She has lost 22 lbs. She has Dementia, kidney failure, dehydration, some aspiration with foods. The nursing home said the only option is a feeding tube but she does not want it. How long will it take for her to body to shutdown. Will she suffer. What can I do. The doctor visits her there and runs tests weekly.

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When my Mom went that same route, I asked her primary doctor about this.... he said she not suffer at all as the body will start slowly shutting down. He said it will be a peaceful passing, and he was right.

We also had Hospice care for Mom because of her lost weight she was down to 80 lbs and being that thin it becomes uncomfortable when lying in bed or being in a geri-recliner. The pain meds did help.
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It sounds like your mom has decided to not go with feeding tubes. They have their own set of problems and may not prolong her life at all. I think I would try to do as the others suggested and get support. I have heard that Hospice can help you with many things in situations like this. I'm so sorry. It must be so difficult.
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jeannegibbs gave a good suggestion about hospice. It's definitely worth looking into.

If your mom is refusing to eat or drink there's nothing you can do about it. I'm sorry to be so blunt. Many elderly people get to this point and it's always so difficult on the family. If it makes you feel better have some ice chips in a cup where she can reach it. She might want to moisten her mouth on occasion.

Be encouraging but try not to badger your mom into eating or drinking. She may be making a conscious decision not to eat or drink or she just may not feel hungry or thirsty. But the body knows what it's doing and she won't suffer.

Call hospice. Today if possible. They'll walk beside you down this path with your mom.
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Ask her doctor if this would be a good time to bring in Hospice, for comfort care. No one can say how long your mother has left in this life, but Hospice has a lot of experience in these situations and can provide much information to you and answer those kinds of questions. They can help ensure that her suffering is minimized.

Does your mother sleep a lot? How many hours a day?

I am so sorry that you are facing this.
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