My mom is now in Memory Care near me. Her house is in a town 200 miles from me. We've moved some things and photos etc to her Memory Care apartment, but she and my late dad had been in that home since the early 70s, so its got a lot of stuff still there. Pre covid, I had plans to use that house to stay in periodically so that Mom could still see her friends, or go to a grandchild dance receital. But her dementia has increased and I'm not sure I should ever take her back. Right now of course, her facility is locked down, and I can only take her out for a medically necessary doctor appointment. She doesn't understand that where she is is forever, and I don't know what is more cruel, not ever going or going and seeing alot if her furniture missing (at memory care) and having to leave it again.
Do I start going through her things, donating and give to family, and sell house? It feels wrong to be doing that without her blessing, but she's not capable of understanding her condition, or making decisions about the things. It's like my mom is dead and I need to deal with estate, but she's still here and I feel so guilty. It's like I took her on a trip, but then just said sorry you can't leave. But it doesn't make sense to keep the house empty. I'm afraid the word will get out thats it's empty and we will have a break in.
I could go down there and start, but then I'm afraid my mom will have another fall, and I won't be there if she needs to go to the hospital as I'm her medical POA and she's not capable of answering questions correctly anyway.
My sister lives closer to the house and she can some also, but shes got two kids in school and she and her husband both teach and are crazy busy right now. I'm retired and have the time, but don't know what to do.
She is private pay due to great LTC insurance and retirement planning, so no issues re Medicaid or anything. I'm Financial and Health POA.