Mom's been in hospice about a month for advanced dementia and inability to stop losing weight. She has these cycles of fasting for a few days and then sleeping all the time and failing. Then, of her own accord she will eat a nice big breakfast or lunch and be perky, alert, and have a pretty good day. This is followed by more fasting, fail, eat, rally, over and over and over.
My social worker from hospice said that mom might be practicing to pass, to get used to it.
I will say that it is 100% true to my mom's personality to refuse to do anything in her life as expected or by the rules. And she has always taken years to make the simplest decision, (10 years to buy a sofa), so it doesn't surprise me that this is how she is going to control her passing. She's had some of the common signs death is near for decades, so the hospice handbook is really not helping me all that much!
It makes preparing for grief impossible. The up & down rollercoaster is exhausting. There is a general trend of decline. The ups are not as far up as previously. I don't know if I should be there or keep on doing what life demands and wait for a serious change. I don't have unlimited time off at work and I certainly can't go without pay for some indefinite time.
Has anybody else been through this? I don't know anybody who has. It's like driving at 100 miles an hour in the dark. No idea when the curve is coming. This is a level of hades and I think it's harder on me than her.