We can only see her through the sliding glass doors. They are taking good care of her. But my sister is thinking of taking her to her home. Is this a good idea?
No, not a good thing and for all the reasons Grandma and Willie mentioned. This is not a desease that gets better. Caring for a person who has Dementia is like taking care of a toddler and later a baby. They are unpredictable. If Mom is 89 yrs old than sister is in her 60s? This is a senior caring for a senior. Is she ready to do everything for Mom. Have her sleep interrupted because Mom is wandering the house.
If you are happy with her care, than I would not move her. Moving in itself can cause problems. And like said "home" does not always mean the last house they lived it but maybe the one she was raised in. I really feel they revert back to their childhood. They don't see their children as adults but much younger.
Why was she placed in a Group Home? If it was because family members could not care for her the situation has not changed. She will continue to decline so if there were issues before caring for her they will not get better but will get worse. Is your sister equipped to handle the pressures, the stress of caring for someone with dementia? Is her house able to be set up so that your mom would be safe? Is there someone at home all the time that would be able to care for her and keep her safe? (when I say ALL THE TIME I do mean all the time, 24/7/365) Are you able to and willing to help? (read the posts of caregivers complaining that siblings do not help) What is your mothers personality? (read the posts about all the problems caregivers have when caring for their parent) And is your sister living where mom would call "home"? If sister is not living where mom used to live that will still not be "home" to mom. So mom would still ask to "go home".
Often when a person with dementia says "I want to go home" it is not a physical home, "HOME" can mean a time and or place when they felt safe, well, whole.
Removing her from a group home where she is cared for is not a good idea.
They say it takes a village to raise a child, that is doubly true when it comes to caring for people like your mother. I'm sure you will get a lot of advice telling you to absolutely not allow your sister to attempt this, that she is in the best place to care for her ever increasing needs - the thing is many people do care for a loved one at home, often right up to the end of life. I think the key is to make sure that everyone is looking at this decision rationally and dispassionately, the amount of time (24/7 for years), money (the cost of caregivers, home modifications, loss of income for the caregiver) and external supports (family, friends and paid caregivers for mom but also respite and mental health support for your sister and her family) must be taken into consideration because caring for a fragile elder at home is probably one of the most difficult things any person can take on.
If you are happy with her care, than I would not move her. Moving in itself can cause problems. And like said "home" does not always mean the last house they lived it but maybe the one she was raised in. I really feel they revert back to their childhood. They don't see their children as adults but much younger.
If it was because family members could not care for her the situation has not changed.
She will continue to decline so if there were issues before caring for her they will not get better but will get worse.
Is your sister equipped to handle the pressures, the stress of caring for someone with dementia?
Is her house able to be set up so that your mom would be safe?
Is there someone at home all the time that would be able to care for her and keep her safe? (when I say ALL THE TIME I do mean all the time, 24/7/365)
Are you able to and willing to help? (read the posts of caregivers complaining that siblings do not help)
What is your mothers personality? (read the posts about all the problems caregivers have when caring for their parent)
And is your sister living where mom would call "home"? If sister is not living where mom used to live that will still not be "home" to mom. So mom would still ask to "go home".
Often when a person with dementia says "I want to go home" it is not a physical home, "HOME" can mean a time and or place when they felt safe, well, whole.
Removing her from a group home where she is cared for is not a good idea.