My Mom is in constant pain from severe back pain and arthritis. Any advice?

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I have been my mother caregiver for three years. She is in constant pain from severe back pain and arthritis. She takes to different prescriptions for this pain, but they no longer give her any relief. Her doctor does not want to give her anything stronger.. She has been to a pain management doctor and has tried many different medications. Nothing seems to help. The only thing that helps is her brandy. But she is asking for more and more. She makes me feel guilty when I refuse to give her a drink before lunch. I try to limit her consumption, but it is so hard to watch
Her suffer. She is 90 and wants to die. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated..

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Hugs blackcloudone!

You will find wonderful support here on this site
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My mother (88years old) is in constant pain for the past ten years. Her back is bone on bone. From the last week it's been the worse. She's been taking four tramadol and one Percocet per day. In the last months these meds are not working so gradually I removed the tramadol and replaced it with three Percocet per day. I thought that would help her misery but it doesn't. For the past two days she's been dragging her feet because the pain from the back is going down to her legs. She had a doctor appointment last Monday but couldn't make it because of the pain. We'll try this coming Monday. On our last appointment I asked the doctor what was next when these meds weren't enough. She told me we'll worry about it when we get there. This was three months ago.... well the time as come... what's next... So far we tried everything mentioned in these posts. I'm all for it to give whatever will help them stay away from pain. I call her my little drugie... and I'm sure she is addicted to these meds, at this age I don't worry about it but don't want her to feel so horrible, and I'm so worried what's ahead for her and for me. Thank God she leaves with me but it's hard to have kids (they're older but still need me, husband my biggest kid lol) bottom line I feel soooooo bad for her but my anxiety is pretty high do to the fact that I am alone in this. I don't mind doing anything for her but wish I had someone that maybe ones a year I could trust and leave her with so I could have a few days away with my family. I just had to vent to someone. I have no one to talk too. Thank you for listening
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My dad has been having lower back pain for months and his doctor just calls it arthritis. Dad (82, legally blind and neuropathy in the feet )asked him if he could wear a back brace and the doctor said no it will just make you become more inactive and not use muscles that you need to still move. Grrrr...... Doctor upped his tramadol and told him to take more Tylenol... got dad a new primary doctor yesterday and going to an Endo for his uncontrolled diabetes that this old doctors been supposedly treating him for for years....I have learned more from this site than any doctor I have ever been to
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I suggest the pain patch from doctor too, i also have alot of back problems, and arthritis in my back and other areas, and it does give relief along with 1 Norco and 800mg motrin.. if your mom is anything like me laying constantly does make it worse and it is very painful.. im going to ask my dr about lyrica or cymbalta so I dont half to go on stronger pain meds.. what ever your mom needs at her age let her have it because I know she is in agony im only 60 and I hope i dont live with this 30 more years.. God love it!! Give her the Brandy..
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This is actually an old post, as I see I posted a response about the benefits of Cymbalta some time ago. I still support the benefits of that drug, but I have learned even more about back pain and medications.

As it turns out, one reason that an antidepressant may help back pain is that depression can often cause actual back pain. I learned that during another family member's illness. It seems that depression can cause all kinds of problems, including headaches, back pain, sweating, etc. So, as others here have said, assess for depression and treat it. It could help the physical pain considerably.
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I'm in a state that allows medical marijuana and it has been a blessing for my father who has prostrate cancer that has spread to his bones along with a poorly healed hip fracture from a fall during a seizure that he stubbornly refused to have looked at or dealt with. I use indica strain edibles and a topical that actually works. He goes from moaning to silence in three two one. Aside from the topical The one thing that I don't like is that the edibles are not instant fixes, but once they kick in the last a long time and do not cause constipation. As he is severely underweight the increased appetite is another blessing. Each to their own, but if it is available in your state I'd recommend it highly. the best things for inflammation and arthritis from what I have read are the high CBD with a smidgen of THC.
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My mother uses strong pain killers and a Lidoderm pain patch,but she is starting to have a hard time putting the patches on.
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People who suggest topical rubs and herbal remedies for arthritic pain have NO clue regarding true pain.
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I found that when my mother's back pain was no longer managed well, we got the visiting nurses in and they agreed that it was not acceptable to be in that amount of pain. They got the doctor to prescribe different and/or stronger medications that worked better. Back pain is so difficult. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this.
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Have you tried a back brace or medicated creams, like Tiger balm? And I think that a good home health physical therapist could possibly show your mom some gentle exercises that might help a small bit. Good luck!
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