Sometimes I get so angry at my mother’s obstinance.
A few days ago some of the members on this site suggested that I allow my mom to make decisions and do things more for herself and not treat her like a child. My mom also said to an insurance agent that I treated her like a child.
Because my sister-in-law, who my mom was being taken care of by for the last 6 months treated my mom like a child, I didn’t want my mom to think of me that way.
So, my pride got in the way and I said that I wouldn’t treat mom like a child and try to let her be more independent. I let her walk up and down the stairs by herself (I walked next to her), and I let her choose her clothes each day and tried to let her feel more independent.
Well, today we went to a Christmas craft fare. She didn’t want to use her rolling walker and she didn’t want me to hold her arm because she didn’t need my help. She wanted to walk on her own and not appear helpless to the others at the fare.
She drags one of her legs because her leg is painful to bend. We give her acetamenophin to help with the pain but otherwise there isn’t anything else that can be done about her knee. She drags it.
We were walking through the parking lot and into the building where the craft fare was and she fell. She didn’t put her hands out to break her fall, she hit her head first. I was walking alongside her and she fell right in front of me and I saw the whole thing. She went from her feet to her hitting her head.
Several people witnessed it and rushed over to help. We got her to sit down on the sidewalk and after checking her over we realized there was a gash in her forehead. She was bleeding. I put a napkin over the cut to stop it from bleeding and the paramedics for our small village were called. They arrived within a few minutes, checked her out, bandaged her head, and said to keep an eye on her.
I am so very tired of people saying that those with dementia need to be not catered to and allowed to be treated as adults. My mother hit her head so very very very hard. I will never remove that image from my head.
I told my mom that I will never allow her to walk up and down the stairs ever again on her own. That if she is walking without her walker that I will hold her arm and not let go.
People with dementia CANNOT make these decisions on their own.
Those who believe that they can are fooling themselves.
I’m angry and very upset right now.