Mom hit the health care aide repeatedly during an escape attempt. What to do? - AgingCare.com

Mom hit the health care aide repeatedly during an escape attempt. What to do?

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She is also threatening to run over other residents with her walker.We moved her a month ago to a nicer assisted living facility that charges a lot less (we are cash pay). She was fine until 2 days after she got there and then started raising hell. The doctor says any calming meds will increase her chances of falling, but the staff report the other residents are very upset by her screaming, bashing her walker into the office and other areas and she hit the aide multiple times trying to escape (into -3C weather). I had to unplug my house phone because she's calling more than 10x/day. Says the place is a hellhole and she's going to hitchhike 'home' (wherever that is). She can't hear on the telephone anymore. I go visit once a week for several hours because I just can't mentally cope with more frequent encounters. Any suggestions on how else to calm her down? I don't want her thrown out.

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Medication for depression and schizophrenia changed my mthr's outlook so much, I wish she'd had this 40 years before! Yes, it does raise the risk of falling and other things which lead to an earlier demise, BUT- now I've seen the ladies who have advanced dementia, who are curled into a ball, who have to be shifted every 2 hours. I would prefer to go earlier rather than later if I have dementia, so improving the quality of life and making me happy is a greater concern to me at that stage than keeping me healthy so my non-functioning brain is kept alive. It's a quality of life issue, really.
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Sophe, you call the Head Nurse at Assisted Living and get mom sent to the ER as a psychiatric case, ASAP. NOW. If you don't you can be sued by the people she is whacking. Personal Injury lawyers would have a field day with this case.
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She should also be tested for a UTI in the ER.
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My mother pulled an epic stunt back in the summer. She tried to elope (escape), hit people with her walker, got outside, hit the building and yelled at it for 90 minutes before the EMTs could hog tie and sedate her. They didn't really hog tie her, but they should have. She raged for over 24 hours in an ER room before she could be placed in a geriatric-psych unit for 5 days. This kind of behavior is not new for my mom, but it was new in that setting, so it really shocked everyone. Mom's been a holy pistol her whole life and dementia isn't helping.

She had to go into a locked memory care/geri-psych unit after. She could not return to the nursing home unit she had been in. She is now on high doses of Prozac and Risperidone. It has helped a lot. She has to be supervised 24/7 in a unit where she can't elope. She has an ankle bracelet that stops doors from opening.

This doctor you describe is NOT giving you good advice. They have to weigh the pros & cons of medication, and sometimes the side effects are totally worth it because of the benefit. It is not good for a patient to be in a constant state of upset, fear, and combativeness. If that were me, load me up with the meds please, so people can take care of me!

You should have a social worker coordinating with you on where to put mom. The place my mom is at has a social worker in their employ who does this. She was wonderful.
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You have some great responses here. I had to move my loved one from a regular Assisted Living facility to a Secure Memory Unit for much less behavior than you describe by your mother. Once they get to that point, it's not something the regular staff can handle.

You may ask for a meeting with the AL director and department heads to come up with a plan of care, but in the meantime, I would get her proper medical attention and find another place for her that is more suited to her needs. In an emergency or if she tries to leave the facility, you might not get 30 days notice.

I learned that sometimes with dementia patients, they can't verbalize when they are in pain. They often act out. You have to read what they are trying to tell you as others here have pointed out.

My cousin was recovering from a spine fracture and it must have been causing her a lot of pain. Plus, she wanted to lay in bed a lot. Soon after she went on Cymbalta, it was like a miracle. It works on pain and depression. It really helped her. I would discuss this with her doctor or a new doctor.

I know it is a nightmare when you are so frightened that you loved one will be ousted from a facility. You will see a huge difference in your stress level, once you get her behavior more stable and she is in a place that can really assist her needs better.

I will add that when my loved one was placed with residents who were similar to her, she seemed much more at peace.
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It sounds to me like her Alzheimer's may have advanced beyond what an assisted living can handle. She may be at stage 6 which requires a secure caregiving situation like a memory care unit.

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/Stages-of-Alzheimers-disease-118964.htm
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Mom is in AL? correct? Probably totally wrong place for someone at the point of oversight & caregiving that your mom is at……and for everybody's sake, the staff, other residents, you and most importantly your mom. Please read the link that CMagnum posted for you.

If this keeps up, the facility will have no choice but to send you a "30 Day Notice" on mom and she will have to move. Be proactive in this and have a clear talk with the social worker at the AL as to what they suggest as to either a NH or specialized AL for mom to go to. If the $ is not there to continue with private pay, then going into a NH and applying for Medicaid will have to be there route to go. It will be good that you have an accountant dealing with her $ as it will make the Medicaid application easier.

You do have DPOA & MPOA for her, don't you?
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My mom took a few swings at people with her purse and she got a prompt trip to the ER and diagnosed with cellulitis. Some people will get crazy(er) with any kind of infection or pain; it may be too mild to call it delirium but it can be a real issue and can settle down to baseline once the problem is treated.
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Igloo572, yes she is in assisted living. Highly rated, recommended, thoroughly investigated, etc. The staff have been understanding and polite. They are trained in redirection and management of assaultive behaviors. What the nurse expressed concern over was if Mom threatens or assaults other residents... apparently she has done something to make them think that's on her list.
There is an unrelated memory care unit nearby that is a possibility...I will investigate it soon on a proactive basis as Igloo and Olaandme suggest.
We are changing health care providers to one who will come to her apartment to provide care, but it takes a little time to do that.
I found her escape outfit...a heavy jacket packed full of mixed nuts and little notebooks. I'm so sad she is so delusional and distressed. I so wish I could make it better.
Yes, I'm the one legally empowered to manage her finances and medical care.
I'm very grateful for the forensic accountant...this is an accountant that specializes in fraud and criminal behavior detection. Helps me keep everything neat and proper. I can recommend finding one of these specialists when you know your relative is going to go down the paranoia rabbit hole.
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1. A Senior Behavioral Clinic can get her meds straightened out. It took ten days for my mom and she is a different person. Take her to a geriatric psychiatrist for referral.

2. I believe that people in her condition should not have a phone. Who are they going to call? And why? It is better if you communicate directly with the staff.
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