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Super stubborn I lay out clothes and she won’t wear it. Seems intentional!


She lives with me.

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Well said!
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Reply to Annabellee
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I think it was Moms pill-taking that was one of my first indicators that she needed more help. She lived on her own, but I would visit weekly and take inventory of her pills, reorder what she needed and stock her pill dispenser. I still remember standing in her kitchen in tears when I’d find her pill dispenser completely messed up....days completely skipped, others half taken. No explanation other than “I don’t know why”. I’d yell, cry, try to reason with her, but in the end I just had to hire a lady to come in the morning and make sure she did it. Because she really didn’t know why she couldn’t on her own.
My advise is to put her pills in a dispenser that has little compartment for each day. Some have 2 or 3 compartments if meds have to be taken at various times, or you could have a separate morning and a night time dispenser. You take over filling them up, and place it with moms meals, and either watch her take them, or just monitor. It will be easy to see if she does take them.
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Reply to rocketjcat
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Pity4mom Mar 3, 2019
Thank so kindly. I give mom her meds, but I was trusting she took them. After posting this, I’ve now started giving them to her and waiting til she takes them. Waiting watching was the key, for now.
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After a certain point, giving your elderly loved one choices doesn't work. You'll have to take the lead, as I did; otherwise, your entire life will be chaos. I don't ask Mom if she wants to do this or that, or which dress to wear - I simply take out clean clothes and say, "Okay, let's change your dress," "Okay, it's time for lunch," "Here's your pain pill," etc.

I don't ask what she wants to eat - I cook for her and set it in front of her to eat. I schedule and administer all of her medications so that she gets the proper meds at the proper time, and I announce when it's nap time or bed time.

Granted, it's a lot of work, but it's easier on you in the end, and safer for Mom, too.
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Reply to PeeWee57
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Pity4mom Mar 3, 2019
Great awesome advice and everything I need to convert to doing. Sounds exactly like my situation. Thank you soo much !!!
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Moms pills were managed by someone else early in her Dementia. She could not remember if she took them or not. When you give them to her, you make sure she takes them. I also helped Mom with her dressing.

I never asked or said time to do this I just did it. Take ur pills Mom, lets get dressed/shower. If you ask, the answer is usually no. You cannot expect Mom to "know" anymore. They lose the ability to reason, comprehend and process. They become like children.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Pity4mom Mar 1, 2019
Thank you so kindly I do need this type of help I’m in tears.
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Your profile says that your mother has dementia. So, I'd read a lot about how the brain works when they have a condition that damages it, like Alzheimers. Eventually, you can't rely on their abilities or judgment to take meds, use good judgment, etc. Most require that you provide them with the med, as it is directed. So, I would question if it's safe for her to have access to her pills. There's a risk she could mistake the dosage. And, I would take out the idea that she's doing it for some reason other than she can't help it. People with dementia are often difficult, resistant to care and just aren't able to operate the way they used to do. It's not their fault.
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Pity4mom Mar 1, 2019
Thank you 🙏
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