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I've benefited so much from the genuine responses of so many questions asked on this forum that I finally decided to ask one of my own questions. Mom is 82 with ALZ moderate to severe. She's having delusions of having won the lottery and is accusing my sister of unfairly dividing up the money. I know this to be 100% untrue. My sister and I have been working together to consolidate my moms funds to make it easier when the time comes to go on Medicaid. My mother has asked for my help to go to a lawyer (which she can't really afford) to get this straightened out. I know my sister isn't doing anything wrong but I want to do something to show my mom that all her finances are as she would want them. I asked what she would like to happen to fix the issue. She said either going to a lawyer or to the bank. Neither of which is really an option since there's nothing either could do. Looking for suggestions to appease my mom. Her memory is such that she mis-remembers but she won't forget that we talked about it and until "something" is done she'll keep bringing it up. Any advice?

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Allmyheart, Please understand you can't reason with someone with Alz. There is no longer reasoning for her. She will continue with this until something else takes it's place. When she brings it up, tell her the bank said everything is fine. No trouble whatsoever. You and you sister know you are doing the best you can. That's what counts. You know you can't "fix" this. Just smile and keep on keeping on.
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"Mom, the lawyer is talking to the banker and they've got to get some papers together. I'll call him tomorrow and see when he wants us to come in"
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I would just try to keep I hate to put it this way but "stringing her along". You aren't trying to steal from her, have no way to rationally show her she is wrong because your not dealing with a rational person.Try distraction with other things she likes to do,if she mentions it just tell her you are working on in it and keep moving to the next subject just as if nothing is wrong.
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Thanks for your responses. I've been stringing her along but I feel like she won't get over it until something concrete is done (a trip to the bank etc). Maybe I just have to get over it. She already feels like we're putting her off. I think just letting her confide in me helps her also. It's so sad to see her treat my sister poorly when my sister does so much for her. I understand why she's doing it but it's hard nevertheless. Thank goodness my sister has tough skin!
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