My mom is 101 years old and living in a nursing home. She has lived there for 2 years now, moving in after a stroke that left her paralyzed. Despite being paralyzed for the past two years, she has been pretty "mentally there" for the most part, (knows who I am, knows where she is at, able to have a conversation, etc). Ever since I have moved her there two years ago, I have gone to visit her everyday. Some days she would talk my ear off, on what I call her "good days" and other days she would just sleep the whole time on her "bad days". This past month, she had been having more and more "bad days". So when I went to visit her 3 days ago, and she was having yet another "bad day", I didn't think much of it until her nurse told me she wouldn't eat the night before or that morning. I gently rubbed her arm and asked her if she would eat something and she opened one eye and shook her head. I did the same thing the next day and got the same response. Yesterday and today, I got no response at all.

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Sounds like at 101 your mum is getting ready to move on. You are a very faithful daughter to visit so regularly. My mother lived to 106. Over the 6 or so months before she passed she slept more and more and ate less. One day I got a call that she had refused food. When I next saw her she recognized me but didn't move at all even though I held her hand. She passed peacefully two days later. I hope your mum now has hospice services and is being given comfort care. May you both be at peace.
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Reply to golden23
NeedHelpWithMom Jan 28, 2020

I have to say that I love reading your responses. You give beautiful answers. I love your compassion. I bet that you have the most experience of any of us. How many people can say their parents live to 106?
Age is a factor. But any fluid intake prolongs things a lot, even tiny amounts of fluid. Your Mom is hopefully now with a hospice? They can answer your questions better than many of us. There are signs to watch for with changes in color and temp of extremities, especially the legs. Wishing you luck, and peace for your Mom.
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Reply to AlvaDeer

I guess she’s not hungry. She’s tired and lived a very long life. She sounds like a lovely woman. How kind of you to visit her so often. Both of you are blessed to have each other. You will miss her. Hugs!
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom

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