Mom has a UTI and is under Hospice care. I have considered calling them to assess her today, but really what does that do?

Yeah. I'm glad my mom passed on before her strokes left her totally blind and unable to eat or drink, and that would have happened in not too much longer. You feel bad saying this, because what you really wish is that they could have been happy and well up til their very last day, right? But then it would have seemed like a horrible tragedy to lose them that way too. Maybe there is no real coming to grips and being at peace with this "wonderful" Circle of Life thing on this side of eternity...Onwards, then!! As best we can, anyways.

2TSnana,
What stage is your mom in and how long has she been there? I understand what you are saying.

My 96 yr old aunt's skin is very thin and sometimesvswollen. It looks like the top layer of the skin of her legs is separate underlying layers. She constantly bumps her legs against the seams of her walker as she jerks it around, jerks it while walking leaving marks as if she has fallen.

Anyone that has ever done this truly understands. I have been taking care of my mom for a long time and it hasn't been easy...still isn't but this latest decline is tough....I look around the nursing home everyday and wonder how some of the people are still here. Some who if ever have visitors because I assume they just got tired. I promise I will not get too tired to finish this journey I just really really do not want it to get much worse. I don't know who's lesson this is or if it even is a lesson. My dad died suddenly when I was 22 ( I am 59) I thought that was the worse day ever, but I will tell you this vigil is much tougher...Here's to a better day today for her and for me. ;-)

Maggie, one of my fondest memories of my mom is her at my dad's wake. He died after 15 years with Chronic Leukemia. "I'm just so glad it's over, for both our sakes", she said to everyone. It's the truth.

I do understand that and actually hope it ends soon before she gets any worse...and that is because I love her.

So sad. Also only child here . . . lost mom ten days ago after one week in hospice. She was 87. When she passed, honestly? It was a relief. Other care givers will understand. Some people won't.

I did call the hospice nurse and she said she would see her today. The nursing home is only a couple of minutes from where I work. I just went up there to check on her. They were bathing her and the nurse came in the change her bandage. It was a mess it looks like someone tried to skin her forearm . Her skin is so thin and even just the aides lifting her or helping her into the lift to get her to the bathroom leaves her with bruises . Her mental state was some better I think she just kept staring at me and asking am I going to lose my arm, but at least she was not ranting. I will go back at lunch time. I am hoping it is the UTI and not a complete change in her mental state which has gone downhill quite a bit since she broke her hip in March. She will be 85 next month. The looks she was giving me this morning kind of makes me feel like the rants might go in my direction today. I am learning to redirect her. To be honest I will be so glad when this is all over. She is tired and so messed up and I am tired too. Only child here.....

I don't know what happened. It is so easy for a small thing to tear the skin and leave a nasty blue mark on elder skin. My mother had a minor incident on her toilet frame one day that tore her skin and left a huge blue mark. It looked like she had been severely injured. I took her to urgent care just to be sure. They bandaged it and assured us all was okay. It may be the same with your mother. I don't know how badly she hit when she was falling.

Some elders get totally psychotic when they have a UTI. My mother had a slight bladder infection a couple of years back. It was one of the worst weeks of my life. She returned to normal (for her) when the infection cleared. You have my sympathy. I hope the infection clears fast. You may want to let hospice know. They might be able to provide some extra comfort for her if she needs it. Other than giving the antibiotics time to work and keeping her as comfortable as possible, I don't know what else you can do. I wish we could fix things, but sometimes they just aren't fixable. It's out of our hands. Hugs and more hugs.