Follow
Share

She watches every things everyone does and listens to everything any one talks about and has to know everything and expects us to answer here for every thing. it makes me feel like she is treating my like a child and I want to tell her to mind her own business but I know that is not respectful. but it is worse that having a 2 yr old around always asking shy. It's driving us kids crazy. How do we deal with 800 questions a day?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
My FIL was able to go to adult day care. That gave my MIL some peace and quiet.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Is she asking because she's experiencing anxiety? My MIL does that. "Where are we going next?" "When are we leaving?" and so on. It gets worse if she's feeling stressed out, or if she's in an unfamiliar place.
Or is she experiencing paranoia? That can be common in people with dementia. They might think everyone is talking about them behind their back, or plotting to "get" them somehow.
If she's not agitated when she's asking these questions, maybe she's just bored. Redirection might work, or giving her something to do, like folding towels or polishing silverware.
You're right; it can be very trying to be asked the same question over and over. My MIL asks me every time I see her if I've had my car repainted. I've never had a car repainted in my life. I own a classic Mercedes-Benz that I keep in top-notch shape, but MIL seems to think it looks so good because it was repainted. It's a small thing, my it drives me nuts because she asks me every. d*mn. time.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

The brain almost returns to the two-year old state. It is constantly seeking information, but the stored memory cannot be retrieved. Memory file extensions are corrupted or missing. So, like the computer, she keeps asking for the information. Never say " I already told you" because her brain says "file not found" Just repeat the information as if you are saying it for the first time. Remember, we were all two years old before and we will be again.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Hello Alley59, Sodonewithitsal1 is probably right, that it is uncertainty and anxiety that is causing this behavior. If anxiety is a constant problem (and it is usually a gradually increasing one) the doctor might consider some anti anxiety meds.

That being said, I do not believe that it is disrespectful to tell someone, (who is butting into stuff that is not their business) that "This does not concern you, and I don't intend to talk about it." It took me a long while to learn to say that, and it didn't go over well the first dozen or so times. In actuality it is your mother who is being disrespectful of your private conversations and concerns. And no matter the cause, you don't have to allow it, so you don't have to answer.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Mom comes from a big family and so she taught me that questions from well meaning relatives came because they were concerned about us making the 9 hour drive from Ohio to New Jersey (give or take an hour depending on ages of drivers etc.) That advice really was helpful. Today I was at the doctor's office for a follow up and Mom left a message for me "because it feels like you have been there for a long time." In this case, she was right on. I called her back and let her know I was fine, that it *was* actually a long time because they were busy, and I saw a doctor, her nurse and then had bloodwork done. On the other hand if my phone rings (rarely) and i take the call she'll ask "who was it?" That bothers me. I don't have a huge social network and no partner so if someone calls me it is usually a doctor/vet appointment reminder or something random like that. Sometimes if I don't leave the room I think she should be able to figure out who is calling. i have not figured out how to respond because I think I deserve my privacy. but I think if you know it is coming from anxiety it is easier to deal with.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Answer all her questions briefly and pleasantly. Sometimes the answers can be "I've got it under control, Mom. Everything is OK." or "Just some boring banking stuff."
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter