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I moved in with my mother... she has many heath and some mobility problems. I care for all her needs (lately to my personal detriment) but honestly I did not expect her to survive this long. She is more than likely BPD or NPD which I only really discovered since I came here. The issue is that she looks to me to EVERYTHING for her... everything. From fetching notebooks to fetching cookies. If she wants it she screams my name. I had developed a home based business so I could care for her.. but the demands are becoming unreasonable. Albeit, she would have to "work" a bit to get the cookies from the cabinet... but she seems to just fine to call me out of bed to get them for her!! Woman, get you butt off the chair and work your way over there and get them... even it takes 10 mins get there. I am becoming resentful of getting yelled to at midnight for cookies (which she could get herself if she really wanted them)... thanks, becoming hopeless... M

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What are her plans for her long term care? Is it you? Run. She needs to figure some of this out herself. Take a weeks vacation and go.
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Iam, you said it so well. LOL! eventgalib, you have to let your mother know you aren't going to do the things she can do for herself. My mother will need to take a pill, then say, "I don't have any water." She'll look at me like she's hoping. All I do is tell her she have to get up and get some. It isn't just because it would make me feel mad to do it, it also isn't good for her. The latter thing is what I tell her if she ever gets snippy about it. We do want them to keep doing as much as they can for themselves as long as they can.
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I so feel your pain. My mom is perfectly capable, albeit slower than she would like, but capable. I believe she would have me breathe for her if she could figure out how to do it.
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If I expected my family I to wait on me hand and foot, They'd roll on the floor laughing. Of course, I'm not narcissistic and they haven't been programmed with that expectation. I guess it is too late to start programming them now, right?

You are telling us, "Woman, get you butt off the chair and work your way over there and get them... even it takes 10 mins get there." What are you telling Mother?

Why are you putting up with this?

(I get it a lot better now that I've been on the board a while and seen many explanations from people with narcissistic parents. But I think it might be a good exercise for you to really look at what you get out of being an unappreciated servant.)

What would I do with a parent with some mobility who expected me to do EVERYTHING? Whatever it was, I would certainly do it from outside of her home.
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You are in exactly the same place I was when I sold my home, quit my career and moved to care for my narcissistic mother for four hellish years and it will only get worse. You will be a trapped, housebound servant/slave 24/7 until she dies or goes into a nursing home and your business, along with any life of your own, will go down the drain, if it hasn't already. Been there, done that.
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