My Mom has now started to yell, I go see what she needs and she's just fine. Advice? - AgingCare.com

My Mom has now started to yell, I go see what she needs and she's just fine. Advice?

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Or she has thrown her blanket on the floor again. I'm in and out of her room 20 times an hour. Her dementia is getting worse. I'm coping the best I can. I do her caregiving alone with an aide coming in the bathe her. It's frustrating and sad.

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My mother isn't a screamer but a finger snapper. She expected me to jump at her every whim. Once I got a handle on this caregiving for a person with Dementia, with the valuable advice from here, I realized she wasn't the main problem, it was the way I was responding. I started using tough love and making her do the things I knew she was perfectly capable of doing for herself. It really does help your mental health. I also noticed she was having trouble finding things on the tv (she loves her tennis, golf, Murder She Wrote etc.. I typed up a daily log for her of her favorite shows with time and channel. At first she was a bit confused, or pretended to be, until she realized the reward at the end of it. She is less bored now. I'm not having to constantly be summoned to find her something on the TV. It is a small thing but it gives me a little of my ME time back.
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I keep word search books for my mom as well as watching television. The word search books keep her mind occupied consistently all through the day. She loves them.
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You will have to exercise patience, love and don't take her actions personally. Give yourself breaks and when you feel you want to scream, go outside and scream. You might try not responding to her if you have just checked on her and then she wants you to come back. Tell her you are busy and you will return and see how that goes. Everyone with dementia is different and presents with unique symptoms. When she is wanting you near, be there for her because you will not always have her around...
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My father did that after they left him alone in the bathroom and he fell and hit his head and they left him there and he was callling help me, I need help, and it stuck in his head. The last week of his life that is all he said.I'd read to him, play his favorite music, held him and nothing helped.
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HELLO MY NAME IS SANDY BEEN TAKING CARE OF MY MOM FOR OVER TEN YEARS HOPE THIS ANSWER HELPS YOU SOME MY MOM SCREAMS NOT AS MUCH BUT AT TIMES STILL DOES THRU MY EXPERIENCE AND ASSUMMING WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT MOST OF THE TIME MY MOM WOULD SCREAM FOR ATTENTION SEEMS LIKE SHE CONSTANTLY WANTS SOMEONE WITHHER WHICH ALOT OF TIMES WHEN IDID HAVE CAREGIVER HERE I FELT LIKE THERE WERE JUST HERE TO BABYSIT AND THATS HIGH PRICE TO PAY FOR BABYSITTER VERY VERY SELDOM WHEN SHE ACTED OUT WAS ANYTHING TRUTHFULLY WRONG AND FOR ME AS TIME GOES ON AND THAT HAPPENS GEE HOW MUCH ATTENTION DOES SHE REALLY HAVE TO HAVE AND DRIVES ME CRAZY TO PRODUCE ANGER FEELINGS BUT I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE SAYING WHEN THEY ARE SCREAMING AND GO SEE WTS UP AND NOTHING IS WRONG CAN BE VERY NERVE RACKING I HOPE I ANSWERED YOU SOME I WISH I WOULD OF TAKEN PPLS ADVICE AT THE BEGINNING OF MY JOURNEY WHEN THEY WLD AY TO ME DONT BABY HER TO MUCH LET HER STILL DO WHAT SHE CAN DO AND BELIEVE ME I WISH I WOULD OF LISTENED AND BEEN MORE OPEN TO EXPERIENCED CAREGIVERS AT THAT TIME. FEEL FREE TO VENT OR TALK CRY ANYTHING ANYTIME OK ANDTAKE CARE BE EASY ON YOURSELF LOVE SANDY22./SANDY HAVE GOOD DAY;)
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Have you looked into a board-and-care or assisted living residence for your Mom? She requires more attention than you are able to provide for her. Good Luck!
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Would a fish tank help? I have a 20 gallon tank with some pretty goldfish and it seems to calm my sister. As long as there is no danger she will tip or break the tank, it's worth a try.
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That's all good advice. My mom watches tv, but no longer knows the difference between reality and pretend. She has forgotten how to even eat, I have to remind her to chew and swallow. She also had a stroke so she can't read magazines. A nice lady comes to read to her. She'll cry for no reason . I am always trying to joke but that's not working all the time either. I had to take her pictures off the wall because they were scaring her. She's bed ridden so she can't get around. She's 86 now. This is my life for the past 7years. Thank goodness I have my daughter to talk with everyday. She can only get home once a month. My caregiver support group only meets once a month. If my mom and I had been closer over the years this wouldn't be so hard. But I'm the only daughter. Three brothers out of state are no help at all. That's my vent for today.. I'm sure I'll have something to complain about again soon.
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We bought one of these with three cameras so that we can make sure Mom is OK and we can hear her, too. (link below)
They don't take the place of being with her which we are but when things need to be done, we can make sure she's OK.
Boredom might be the cause, too. We have a stereo (CD player) that we use to play music from her era. We;ve put hummingbird feeders up outside the window in the living room where she sits and the kitchen window so she can see it when she eats. We also hung up bird feeders (seeds) where she can see them. I've gotten Birds and Blooms, Reader's Digest and Reminisce magazine that we alternate and leave near her.
I agree that you also need to find someone who can come in and give you a break. The Area Agency on Aging might be able to give you a list of caregivers or call the Alzheimer's Association and they can point you in the right direction for getting someone to come in to be with her while you get things done.
You have to take care of you or you will DROP.


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In this pill popping society, as a care giver & an R.N. , I suggest that you attempt to fine what was a passion of her's when she was young & focus on it to relieve the demands on you & to bring some joy to you both. It's worth a try??
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