We are planning a short trip at the end of this month (3 days). We have not had a vacation of any kind for a year. Whenever we talk about going out of town my Mom goes into panic mode. She insists that we get someone to come over and sleep at her home...which is next to impossible. We moved to a small town, so reliable caregivers are limited. We do not leave her without care...someone always checks in on her. We call her constantly when we are away.
Finally, I looked into an ALF that does short-stay respite care. I told her how nice it was and how there is someone there 24/7. They have a button you can push if you need help....etc.
Her response, "great...and get someone who will stay overnight with me." Arrrghh!
I am feeling so "tethered" to her, even when I leave. Tough love does not work....she gets on the phone and either calls everyone we know to tell them how alone and scared she is or calls 911 and tells them she is having a heart attack. (The last time she pulled this, they "trapped" her in the hospital for 10 days...I had to threaten a lawsuit to get her out.)
Has anyone else dealt with this? I realize that it is extreme NPD with issues of control, but somehow these people find a way to drag you into their drama. I would like to have a peaceful few days alone without having to come home to a mess. Help!