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My 99-year-old mother has forgotten how to push out a bowel movement. As a consequence, she keeps running to the bathroom every 15 minutes day and night thinking she has to go, but nothing happens. Her stool is soft and not huge due to the high fiber diet I provide. If I do a manual fecal disimpaction, all her symptoms will go away for a week or two, but I hate doing it as it is disgusting! I don't want to make her stools runny with MOM or laxatives, as I don't want liquid, nasty diapers and bottom area to clean up. Is there anything that helps an advanced AD pt bear down and push out their BMs?

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Have you tried Citrucel? It is my go-to suggestion for this as it gives a mucilagenous consistency to the stool and the fiber helps it pass. This isn't about pushing. The bowel tends to become lax with great age, and its motility slows markedly; it is somewhat a flaccid tube whose musculature is worn out. I wouldn't Dis impact as this can actually trigger heart attacks and such in unusual circumstances. She WILL go if the stool isn't hardened. A stool softener, if it is may help.
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Is she actually impacted?
Other than the high fiber have you added things like
Senna
Prunes or prune juice
I gave my Husband a puree of pineapple and papaya. I bought the fruit pureed it and portioned it and kept it in the freezer.

She is going to lose that "pushing out" that you want her to do. If she is not impacted her body will void when it is time. She is then "bowel incontinent" (probably would be considered so at this point. )
And yes you will have to clean up nasty briefs. Liquid and very solid and everything in between. And that includes cleaning up her bottom area. (and you should be doing that now or at least checking to be sure she is properly cleaning herself.
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Been there done that, have the T shirt. My advice is to stop obsessing, as long as it isn't hard and dry it will eventually be expelled without any intervention at all. If you feel you must then a fleet enema is a whole lot less problematic than manual manipulation, which aside from being unpleasant for you is undoubtedly painful for your mom and apt to cause injury. If your mom won't be distracted try having her sit in a sitz bath, aside from it being soothing with my mom that often caused a bowel movement.
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