Does he have an actual diagnosis of dementia? If so, then the providers will typically recognize the spouse or the next closest family member as the patient’s representative since the patient is not fully able to process, understand and make sound decisions for themselves. The fact that he chose your mother as DPOA goes a long way to show that he trusted her with sensitive information and the DPOA may include language that covers medical situations. Most attorneys create both a DPOA and a medical POA along with a living will. If you are able to contact the attorney that was used you may get some answers there. If not, she can try to use the DPOA which after all covers payment of bills including medical bills. You may want to ask an elder law attorney to look at the DPOA and give their opinion. Unfortunately if he is in dementia it is too late to try to have him sign new documents. I really think your Mom has standing with the POA she has, the fact that she is the legal spouse, and the fact that his mental capacity is presently diminished by dementia. Good luck.
As I realized my daddy was declining I just made it a point to be in the doctors appointment with him. There was only one time I wasn't and by that time the doctor had a copy of my DPOA, and knew I was the one caring for him. Mom should make it a point to be in the appointment with dad and if he has a problem with it try saying four ears are better than two - I could hear something that you might miss or let me take notes so we don't forget anything. Also, dad may be doing some out of the normal things mom can share with the doctor BEFORE the appointment. My experience when I took my daddy one time doctor asked him who I was - he said Oh thats the boss. He never said my name even after trying to coach him so from then on the doctor spoke to him but I was always in the appointment.
Confirm with a medical social services worker . A licensed Social Worker should be able to answer your question or the physician, PCP . Conferring with an Elder Law Attorney is always a good option for anyone caring for aging family.
If your dad had a DPOA done, a lawyer should have suggested a Medical directive. A Directive is mainly a living will with the principle defining what he wants and doesn't want. There usually is someone assigned but more to carry out wishes than to make decisions. And someone the doctors can talk to when the principle cannot make their wishes known. DOA, as said, is for financial only. Your Dad has Dementia, really no longer can make decisions on his own. Do you have a copy of the DPOA? I would ask Mom about a Medical POA/Directive. If she does not have the original, call the lawyer who wrote up the DPOA see if he did write a MPOA/Directive. If so, ask for a copy. If not, it can't be done now with Dads Dementia. He actually can't sign a HIPPA form either. He no longer can make informed decisions.
My daughter, RN, says when there is no MPOA/Directive the doctors and nurses will usually talk to the spouse or the person who seems the most involved. In Vegas's situation, her Mom allowed her to come into the doctor's office with her. So the doctor probably assumed he could talk freely. But that may not happen if her Mom is in a hospital situation and not able to give permission. Or has Dementia where she can't give permission. Thats when u need to provide MPOA or a Directive. Mine was on file with every doctor and the hospital she frequented.
Perhaps you could consider asking WHY Dad doesn’t want family to know about his health. He probably won’t talk about it, and an argument wouldn’t help. I’d suggest drawing up a yes/no questionnaire that might amuse him:
1) Doctors get it wrong anyway: yes/no
2) It’s the only thing where I still call the shots: yes/no
3) If it’s bad, I don’t want to know: yes/no
4) If it’s bad, they won’t be able to fix it: yes/no
5) Chances are they will want me to stop anything they think is a bad habit: yes/no
6) It’s no-one’s business except mine: yes/no
It might give him a laugh, and might (possibly) get him (and you) talking about how it all affects the rest of the family. It could be better than trying to force the point.
It is possible to have a Durable POA for medical issues. I have one for my elderly aunt and used it this month. I had her doctor do a MMSE for her mental capacity He did the test, told me her score and other info about her physical condition. We discussed her competency to make major life and financial decisions. I'm not on her HIPAA paperwork.
It would be extremely unlikely that an attorney would do a DPOA without doing also a medical POA. They go together. The DPOA allows your mom to do exactly what it says, but her powers don't override the wishes of a competent husband who can still make his own decisions.
Step one is to read the POA document itself. Also, it is usual, in the case of an incompetent adult to have a social worker call and get a temporary conservatorship or guardianship from a judge when this is needed. The MD needs someone to discuss things with when a patient cannot do so and they will make this happen.
Contact hospital Social worker. Almost all facilities have forms, are in contact with volunteer notaries who will visit even in the hospital.
Again, look at wills, POA papers and etc. I think you will find a MPOA in these documents if they were done by a competent attorney.
Bring home the blank Medical Representative form and when your Dad is in a good mood (in the mornings) tell him that the form does NOT give anyone power to make medical decisions for him, that it only allows the medical staff to legally discuss his private medical information with the designated person without your Dad being present (ie if he is incapacitated). Then ask him to sign it.
Your mom would either have to listed on dads HIPPA forms or be his medical POA to have access to his medical information. DPOA is for financial purposes only. Usually when folks do POA's they do both the durable and medical at the same time. Why wasn't that done with your parents?
Conferring with an Elder Law Attorney is always a good option for anyone caring for aging family.
My daughter, RN, says when there is no MPOA/Directive the doctors and nurses will usually talk to the spouse or the person who seems the most involved. In Vegas's situation, her Mom allowed her to come into the doctor's office with her. So the doctor probably assumed he could talk freely. But that may not happen if her Mom is in a hospital situation and not able to give permission. Or has Dementia where she can't give permission. Thats when u need to provide MPOA or a Directive. Mine was on file with every doctor and the hospital she frequented.
1) Doctors get it wrong anyway: yes/no
2) It’s the only thing where I still call the shots: yes/no
3) If it’s bad, I don’t want to know: yes/no
4) If it’s bad, they won’t be able to fix it: yes/no
5) Chances are they will want me to stop anything they think is a bad habit: yes/no
6) It’s no-one’s business except mine: yes/no
It might give him a laugh, and might (possibly) get him (and you) talking about how it all affects the rest of the family. It could be better than trying to force the point.
He did the test, told me her score and other info about her physical condition. We discussed her competency to make major life and financial decisions. I'm not on her HIPAA paperwork.
Step one is to read the POA document itself.
Also, it is usual, in the case of an incompetent adult to have a social worker call and get a temporary conservatorship or guardianship from a judge when this is needed. The MD needs someone to discuss things with when a patient cannot do so and they will make this happen.
Contact hospital Social worker. Almost all facilities have forms, are in contact with volunteer notaries who will visit even in the hospital.
Again, look at wills, POA papers and etc. I think you will find a MPOA in these documents if they were done by a competent attorney.
DPOA is for financial purposes only. Usually when folks do POA's they do both the durable and medical at the same time. Why wasn't that done with your parents?