Is this wrong? When we go to bed like 11:00 she should be up stairs too. In the middle of the night she goes down stairs wandering around. She is hearing impaired. Leaves water on or refrigerator or freezer open. Or could fall. She drives me crazy...always up opening front door slamming it locking it over and over. I give her lorazepam and Seritriline at night. She claims a man is in my dad's old office in the next room. But no one is in there and it leads to the balcony. She ties belts and strings on it puts a chair in front and stacks clothes. She has a potty chair because she will urinate in objects in her room. It smells horrible. We clean the carpet all the time. Nothing works. She argues about everything and says I'm mean. I don't know what to do. But mostly I don't want her to fall down the stairs. I gave her a cane but she forgets to use it. And forgets everything as well. She's complaining about her knee and will not sit down long enough for icing. I looked into giving her a serious sedative. But the side effects are really bad. Someone please give me any advice. Please! And thank you in advance.

Yes, locking her in is not legal. I put child restraints on the outside doors. They go over the door knob and just go around and around. You can open them she can't.

I think it maybe time for Mom to go to a NH. She maybe passed an AL. My Moms the front door at the AL had a button lock but the fire doors didn't. They had alarms but the person was outside by the time someone got to the door.

With a bad knee it could give out while she was on the stairs and down she'll go. I would put a lock on the room with the balcony. I have a split level and Mom had the bottom room where there was a bath and easier access to the outside. Because of the stairs going down in her room, I gated her in at night with a baby gate. TG she never figured out how to get it down. But it kept her from roaming my house at night where there were 2 more flights of steps.

If you need a "push" in the direction of a NH, ur house is a good reason, stairs and Mom no longer aware of the dangers. Wouldn't it be nice to have a good nights sleep.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to JoAnn29

Please Do NOT put a lock in the outside of her door. This is very dangerous and very likely illegal.

Locally, a few years back an older couple put a lock on the outside of their disabled, adult sons bedroom door to keep him from wandering. The house caught fire and the poor guy died. The parents were arrested. I’m sure they were devastated about the loss of their son as well. It was a sad and tragic situation.

I feel your pain. I have an adult, disabled son at hime who gets up in the wee hours of the morning - like 3am early. Rainman gets into everything as his usual routine. Turning on the stove burners is something he’ll do...

We installed a motion sensor alarm just inside of his bedroom door. It helps. Not so much with us sleeping through the night - let me tell you, when that thing goes off during a deep sleep it’s enough to leave you hanging by your fingertips from the ceiling - but we’re up and getting him hustled back into his bed - with a scolding that keeps him there till morning. The next night? Maybe - Maybe not. It’s a crap shoot.

Maybe its its time for a facility of some sort? But please - please rethink a lock. It’s a bad idea.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Rainmom
JoAnn29 Sep 28, 2018
There is something you can get to shut off the stove.
Door alarms are a good start but she also needs constant supervision when she is awake - unless you are willing to consider a facility that will have to be you, someone else in the family or a paid aide.
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Reply to cwillie

I bought door/window alarms and alarm all the outside and basement doors. When you open the door, the alarm goes off. Inexpensive and easy to install. That would be my first step. Get her a knee brace to give that knee some support.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to maryt5

I would be very concerned that if Mom is able to maneuver around freely and open doors, she is going to get outside and wander off. I’d also worry about the balcony. Putting a lock on her bedroom door could be dangerous if there were a fire. And, she would probably try to force the door open, start screaming that she’s trapped and cause the neighbors to call 911.

If she has declined to the point where she is urinating in inappropriate places, that’s very unsanitary and will cause your whole home to smell. I’d would worry that she could turn on the stove and cause a fire. Medicating her into oblivion at. Isn’t isn’t the answer and could be dangerous to her health. Plus, those sleep meds don’t work for long.

She needs constant, 24/7 supervision. This is something that takes 3 shifts of trained aides and nurses. Because of her behavior, she should not be left alone, day or night. She needs, in a word, to be in a Memory Care facility.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Ahmijoy

Sounds like it's time to consider MC placement where there is someone awake and alert all night long to keep mom safe and she can live on a single level.

Locking her in the bedroom isn't really a workable solution. First, unless mom has been declared legally incompetent that could be considered kidnapping and/or false imprisonment. Second, it's not very safe in the event of a fire or medical emergency. Third, if Mom's anxiety has her up walking the house then she may really start bouncing off the walls if she cannot get out of her bedroom.

BTW - try adding some white vinegar to your cleaning solutions to get rid of the smell.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to TNtechie

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