Keep in mind that it is not anyone's role to meet all her demands.
In any behavior change, first, do as others have suggested, check, then re-check for UTI. (Or any other medical cause). You get so good at noticing certain behavior changes that you can tell. The symptoms in the elderly are not the same. I called the doctor for a 90 y. o., and could not get past the nurse, who said he did not need his urine tested! But I knew better, and kept trying to get him help. He finally was taken to the E.R., diagnosed with a UTI, and we made sure he was seen by a urologist after that. It took a week. Very dangerous to his health.
Have your Mom's medications checked in detail. Ask the doctor to discontinue any that are now unnecessary.
Feed small amounts of food at times of her distress, to help with sundowners. Do it ahead of time, as this can be predicted.
That's all I got for now. We hang up, or leave the room when a person with dementia starts a rant. We have it all memorized, heard it all before, and cannot entertain their delusions. Always check them about an hour later.
Hi, I feel for you. As the primary and only family member of my mother who has been kicked out of three assisted living facilities for aggressive behaviors... ALFs say they are trained, but can quickly develop a negative attitude against a person... you have a take a deep breathe, take time away when you can, find a creative outlet or hobby, talk about it... you would be surprised what helpful facts and support you get from others.
Mom has 24 hour sitters( we have been through many to find the good).
Most of all, reassure your mom when she is the most angry and aggravated that she is loved and no matter what you love her and want what is best for her.
If she suddenly becomes aggressive and huluinates ( tells you colorful animal are walking by or there was a party in her room last night) you may want her tested for Urinary tract infection. My care givers and I know the shift in behavior as can call for a test and antibiotics.. because it happens from time to time... the worsening of already difficult behaviors ..that is.
Sometimes the angry behavior is fear...fear of not functioning in her brain, fear of not being connected, fear of someone caring for her.. listen with your heart... it is not easy.. but you are not alone in your journey. Best wishes and love to you and your mom. CN
My mother was never mean before dementia, but neither was she Miss Sunshine all the time. She never swore or called people names, because my dad was very sensitive to anything like that, but she sure does now that he's gone. All filters have disappeared.
The caregiver told me yesterday that she was flipping the bird at every person who walked past her. That was NEVER a thing before dementia! 😳
If you were nice before, your nice after If you were mean before, your mean after If you were nice before and mean after, you were really mean just knew how to cover it up.
My Mom had her times but on the whole was a nice person and loved by the staff at the AL and later LTC facility.
I would say Lewy Body may change someones personality because it effects the frontal lobe where emotions are.
Mom may need a good physical with labs to check her numbers. Low potassium can contribute to depression. Thyroid effects hormones in the body. UTI will make people aggressively. Diabetes. You should also determine what type of Dementia she has so she receives the correct medicine if needed.
So my best friend and mom was faking being a kind, generous, and loving human being for 85 years and the mean, insulting violent lady I see now is who she always was? WRONG
A neurologist will say that a person with dementia will turn into MORE of what they've always been; a meaner version of mean, or a nicer version of nice, but there are exceptions to every rule, of course. My mother is 94+ and has always been meaner than a snake & very bitter/miserable in nature; nowadays, she's all that times 100, making her truly insufferable to deal with. But she lives in a Memory Care ALF so my contact with her is limited to daily phone calls and weekly visits which is plenty.
At 96 and living at home, you may need to look into Memory Care for your mother if things continue to deteriorate. I don't know what kind of 'treatment' there really IS for dementia, aside from medication to treat depression/anxiety/agitation as it crops up. My mother cannot really handle ANY medication, as it all exacerbates her dementia to the point where she's constantly falling and/or having such extreme side effects the meds have to be discontinued. So everyone has to grin & bear her, so to speak. Fortunately, there is a staff of 24/7 caregivers to do so at her Memory Care ALF.
Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation. As more and more elders are diagnosed with dementia/Alzheimers, and as humans are now living longer and longer lifespans, we 'children' are dealing with our parents when we ourselves are in sometimes in our 80s. Scary stuff.
I would say yes. Dementia (depending on the type) can change one's personality. It certainly did for my grandma. She was always an independent, fairly upbeat, positive person who has- like your mom- become negative and demanding.
Start reading up on dementia. Has she been diagnosed as having dementia? Personality changes can occur as dementia progresses. Make sure she has been assessed for depression. Make sure you r taking care of yourself . This has to be stressful for you seeing someone you know “changing” in front of you. Make sure she has been correctly diagnosed and correct treatment in place. Also , although it doesn’t seem like it would make a big difference, make sure she is checked for urinary tract infections. Older women don’t always have symptoms of uti like younger women and it can manifest in mental changes or make current dementia worse. This is a long road for the caregiver and much to learn . This is a great site to ask questions and ventilate. Let us know how you are doing,
Keep in mind that it is not anyone's role to meet all her demands.
In any behavior change, first, do as others have suggested, check, then re-check for UTI. (Or any other medical cause). You get so good at noticing certain behavior changes that you can tell.
The symptoms in the elderly are not the same. I called the doctor for a 90 y. o., and could not get past the nurse, who said he did not need his urine tested! But I knew better, and kept trying to get him help. He finally was taken to the E.R., diagnosed with a UTI, and we made sure he was seen by a urologist after that. It took a week. Very dangerous to his health.
Have your Mom's medications checked in detail. Ask the doctor to discontinue any that are now unnecessary.
Feed small amounts of food at times of her distress, to help with sundowners.
Do it ahead of time, as this can be predicted.
That's all I got for now. We hang up, or leave the room when a person with dementia starts a rant. We have it all memorized, heard it all before, and cannot entertain their delusions. Always check them about an hour later.
Mom has 24 hour sitters( we have been through many to find the good).
Most of all, reassure your mom when she is the most angry and aggravated that she is loved and no matter what you love her and want what is best for her.
If she suddenly becomes aggressive and huluinates ( tells you colorful animal are walking by or there was a party in her room last night) you may want her tested for Urinary tract infection. My care givers and I know the shift in behavior as can call for a test and antibiotics.. because it happens from time to time... the worsening of already difficult behaviors ..that is.
Sometimes the angry behavior is fear...fear of not functioning in her brain, fear of not being connected, fear of someone caring for her.. listen with your heart... it is not easy.. but you are not alone in your journey. Best wishes and love to you and your mom. CN
My mother was never mean before dementia, but neither was she Miss Sunshine all the time. She never swore or called people names, because my dad was very sensitive to anything like that, but she sure does now that he's gone. All filters have disappeared.
The caregiver told me yesterday that she was flipping the bird at every person who walked past her. That was NEVER a thing before dementia! 😳
Terror and OCD have been added to the mix.
Various combinations of meds haven’t helped.
It’s soooo hard to watch.
If you were nice before, your nice after
If you were mean before, your mean after
If you were nice before and mean after, you were really mean just knew how to cover it up.
My Mom had her times but on the whole was a nice person and loved by the staff at the AL and later LTC facility.
I would say Lewy Body may change someones personality because it effects the frontal lobe where emotions are.
Mom may need a good physical with labs to check her numbers. Low potassium can contribute to depression. Thyroid effects hormones in the body. UTI will make people aggressively. Diabetes. You should also determine what type of Dementia she has so she receives the correct medicine if needed.
At 96 and living at home, you may need to look into Memory Care for your mother if things continue to deteriorate. I don't know what kind of 'treatment' there really IS for dementia, aside from medication to treat depression/anxiety/agitation as it crops up. My mother cannot really handle ANY medication, as it all exacerbates her dementia to the point where she's constantly falling and/or having such extreme side effects the meds have to be discontinued. So everyone has to grin & bear her, so to speak. Fortunately, there is a staff of 24/7 caregivers to do so at her Memory Care ALF.
Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation. As more and more elders are diagnosed with dementia/Alzheimers, and as humans are now living longer and longer lifespans, we 'children' are dealing with our parents when we ourselves are in sometimes in our 80s. Scary stuff.