My mom has dementia and is in a nursing home. Since being there she has declined? - AgingCare.com

My mom has dementia and is in a nursing home. Since being there she has declined?

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She was going through therapy, but they stop, because she refuse to cooperate. She had fallen a few months ago and her doctor informed us she couldn't stay by herself. She was getting around, using a walker, going to the bathroom doing her daily activities at her own speed. Since she has been in the nursing home, she has declined a lot. They stopped her therapy and explain that they could force her go do therapy. I am not understanding why. I thought that when you were in therapy they (I don't want to say force), but at least push her into trying. She weighs over 200lbs and has pretty much given up on trying to help herself at all. Refuses to walk (she can with a walker), wets herself constantly, doesn't want to raise her arms at all, says it hurts to much, have gone through test, but they cannot find anything wrong. We try and spend as much time with her and one of her activities was going to church on Sundays and Wednesdays, but know it very difficult to do this, because she offers no help when trying to get her in the car. She fights us, but yet gets upset, because she is unable to get into the car. My sisters and I are just trying to understand this. Anyone else had to deal with this issue.

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Thank you for your answers. Since joining this forum a few months ago, I have really learned a lot. Everyone has been very helpful.
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It's true. Your mom can't be forced to do therapy. If she refuses to cooperate there's really not much they can do for her. Just like you can't force her to get into the car.

I think Jinx meant to say TEEPA Snow as opposed to "Deepa" Snow. And her continuing education videos on YouTube about how to care for a person with dementia are wonderful. I've been in healthcare my whole adult life and I'm taking an online course for work. I thought, "I've been working with people with dementia for 20 years, what else is there to learn?" but I'm learning a lot! I would suggest Teepa Snow's videos. They'll help you and your sister understand better how to care for your mom.
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Look for videos on youtube by Deepa Snow for expert advice on getting through to the demented person with gentleness and empathy. When our "loved one" is most stubborn and annoying is when they need our love the most. Your life will be easier and your relationship better if you don't try to make her do things, and don't disagree with her.

I'm not judging, because I'm always forgetting and butting heads with my husband! Maybe you can be better at this than I am. I hope so!
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It is true that they cannot force her to do therapy. They can try to help her, but she can say no if she is in the US. I read that she has dementia. Unfortunately, a combative attitude often goes with dementia. People with dementia can get confused about how to do things that seem simple, then lash out at others when confused. It is hard not to take it personally when it is directed at us, but it is the confusion causing it. Very likely she will not remember how she lashed out. It would be nice if we could forget it as quickly. :)

It sounds like she is in a good place since she is a fall risk. I wish it could be easier, but I know it doesn't get better. I hope her personality changes to more pleasant so you can enjoy the time you spend with her.
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I meant to say that they couldn't force her to do therapy!!!
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