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Blood pressure, cardiogram, pulse, blood work, urine analysis are all good. However now she she wants to go to the hospital when she's not feeling right. I've spoken to the doctor and he advises me to keep her home at her age of 93 because in the hospital she would be more prone to infection and the like. My problem is how to I keep mom peaceful about her situation? I know that probably in a few hours she'll forget the entire incident, which has happened.

Actually, much of this anxiety can be remedied using a low carb (ketogenic diet) with higher protein, high nutrient foods like greens and low glycemic fruit (early in the day). Add high quality vitamins as well, and a nootropic supplement. Stay away from sugar, the enemy of Alzheimer's patients. If you are having a celebration with sweets, do it before 2 pm. We cured my Aunt's problem of breaking out of the house at night and banging on neighbor's doors using this method. Music is also very calming, and has a positive mood effect too. Exercise is also key. It has been proven that brain remodeling (due to neuroplasticity) can be achieved even after Alzheimer's diagnosis with exercise and brain training with puzzles and games.
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Reply to Grsaad
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That is correct; your mother may pick up illnesses at the hospital.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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DOES YOUR MOM HAVE LONG TERM CARE INSURANCE? IF SHE DOES, THAT SHOULD COVER NURSING HOME CARE AND/OR POSSIBLE PAYMENT FOR HOME CARE ASSISTANCE. EVEN IF SHE DOESN'T HAVE THAT KIND OF INSURANCE, A NURSING HOME TYPE ASSISTANCE IS PROBABLY THE BESTWAY TO GO. STAYING AT HOSPITAL IS EXTREMELY EXPENSIVE, EVEN IF THEY'RE WILLING TO KEEP HER. ANY INSURANCE IS UNLIKELY TO PAY FOR A STAY WHERE THERE IS NO MEDICAL JUSTIFICATION. MEDICAID IS SOMETHING TO LOOK INTO IF SHE QUALIFIES.
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Reply to HILLARDMH
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MargaretMcKen Oct 20, 2018
Hi! Please could you take your keyboard off Caps. Even if it is all lower case, it is still easier to read.
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She, too, makes everything much more difficult than it has to be. Every. Single. Time. Sigh... my heart goes out to you as I completely understand your struggles. I do not know what to do about it tho..,
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Reply to Dexieboy
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I took my 91 yo mother w dementia to ER Monday & they took blood, urine, ct head , chest X-ray & all came back “normal”. Also dr said electrolytes normal! I took her because she developed new strange behaviors after getting bad teeth pulled (with local anesthetic) like repeating same phrase over & over & pointing ☝️ 👇✌️👈& hand raising in addition to not wanting to eat or drink...she now wants to drink more during night ...well, it’s a week & 2 days since dental procedure & still she has declined...coincidence? Drs at ER attributed decline to progression of dementia & discharged her...& sent her home...(She was in SNF for 10 months but I took her home March 2017)
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Reply to CaregiverL
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A little work-around might help the situation: do you have a friend that your Mother doesn’t know? Have them show up, wearing a stethoscope, and tell your Mother that you’ve hired someone to make house calls just for her. Be vague as to the person’s title (since they are not really a medical person). Have the person sit with you and your Mother, ask what the problem is, how they are feeling, etc. The stethoscope will identify the person as medical in your Mother’s mind.

That should reassure your Mother, if it is anxiety driven - and she might even feel special, since this is her own private person. It’s just a therapeutic fib, no harm, no foul. Good luck, dear.
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Reply to BeckyT
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I think what persons with dementia want more than anything is to return to "normal" where they understand their bodies and the world more or less makes sense. I think this is what is behind the frequent request/demand to "go home" (even when they are at home) and to want appointments with doctors or to go to the hospital or some place that can "fix" them.

You've gotten some good suggestions for distracting and redirecting. I suggest a DIY approach, too. "The hospital says there is a nasty bug going around, and there is not much that they can do for it. They suggest drinking freshly squeezed lemon juice in hot water with a little honey and just a shake of cinnamon, every hour that you are awake, and also to get extra rest until the bug leaves. If it lasts longer than 3 days we should make an appointment with your regular doctor." Try to come up with "fixes" that don't require an ER!

If all else fails, grit your teeth and ride it out. It may be an unpleasant couple of hours, but not as unpleasant as an unnecessary hospital or clinic visit.
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Reply to jeannegibbs
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worriedinCali Oct 19, 2018
So are you saying that people with dementia are aware they have it and that things are not right, that they aren’t their normal self? And they want to be normal again? I am just trying to understand because a friend was recently diagnosed with dementia and is now in a memory care facility, up until recently she was still working as an insurance agent running her own office. I think I was under the impression that once it gets to a certain stage, the person is not aware that they are not their normal self. But that doesn’t seem to be true.
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I can so relate! My 92 year old mom does the same thing. I have a stack of hospital discharge paperwork where they could find nothing wrong with her and chalk it up to an anxiety attack. The last time, a newbie at ALF heard her say she wanted to go to hospital and called 911 before my dad had the chance to find out what was really going on. When she got to the hospital, she told them she said she wanted to go to the hospital because she needed a Tylenol and it was taking too long. The nurse told her it was going to take a lot longer to get that in the hospital! They started taking blood, she started crying and refused treatment. After 4 hours of crying and anxiety meds, she was released... and never even got the Tylenol!
After this we put a 20 questions procedure in place with ALF staff unless her situation was life threatening. You could try it...
Ask a series of simple questions like where does it hurt, on a scale of one to 10 how bad is the pain, would a Tylenol make you feel better, would a back rub help, would a cup of tea make you feel better, etc., if this does not help, try asking if she thinks she needs x-rays or blood tests to help with the problem to remind her about how invasive the hospital is. And yes, try distraction, tho in my mom's case, it never works for long.
Good luck!
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Reply to Judysai422
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Babs75 Oct 19, 2018
Same here. My dad is 92. I used to panic over every little thing and we'd rush off to the ER. 'I don't feel good, I don't feel good' he'd say. I realized after the last couple times that it was just an anxiety thing and now they ask 'why are you here?' He has quite a long history with the local hospital now. They always do a full round of tests and everything always comes out normal. I have had to learn out to weed out the symptoms he's having. I sometimes get the feeling that people looking in from the outside don't think I'm caring enough but I know my dad better than anyone and can read him like a book. I know when to panic now and when not to.
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Maybe you can tell her "tomorrow," Or "next week."
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Reply to Lilacalani
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One of the most common behaviors of people with dementia is obsessing over things. I believe this is what your mom is doing. We advise to redirect them to something else, or to tell the “Therapeutic Fib “. You can tell Mom you called the ER and they will call back when they’re ready for her. Then redirect her to something else—a television program or something else she enjoys. If she is becoming overly anxious, speak with her doctor.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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Babs75 Oct 19, 2018
My 92 year old dad obsesses too. Drives me nuts. He dwells and DWELLS on stuff he doesn't need to. I have recently been awarded guardianship and conservatorship. He obsesses over his finances and makes things soooo much more difficult than they should be. I'm am slowly weaning him away from them as I move things over (been a slow process). Am still waiting for my checks to come in the mail for the conservatorship account so I can start paying some bills of his and get him out of some of this. I think once we get this all up and going he will calm down a bit but he will no doubt find something else to obsess about.
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