Mom lives with us at home. Us is her only two daughters and a son in law. We live in beautiful Hawaii. She is 93. She sundowns every day. We can’t understand her when she talks. She needs constant care and help from us and is immobile.Eating less every day. She has lost weight and is now 90 pounds. She try’s to get up out of bed and falls. When she is up and on afternoons when Sundowning she wants to leave and go to her home in Europe. She try’s to leave the house in her wheelchair using her feet to move. We don’t feel we can handle this any longer but do not want to place her in a memory care facility as she does not have enough money to get great care. We have heard too many bad stories about these facilities. But she is just not happy here later in the day. She is only happy when she first awakes and maybe a couple hours after that. She seems distant and more often very cruel to us not even acknowledging or care that we are her daughters. We are very stressed. Can it be time for hospice?
It’s too bad that you’ve closed your mind to memory care facilities. Unless you’ve visited them yourself, you really have no idea what they’re like. By refusing that level of care for mom, you may be depriving her of the best care possible as she leaves this world. I’m very sorry for your coming loss.
I fully understand that care in facility is tough to face; however the time may be approaching when your mom requires 24/7 care of several shifts of people working on her behalf. In home care may eventually not be sustainable for the family. I wish you best of luck.