My Mom has Dementia/Alzheimers. What will happen in the end? - AgingCare.com

My Mom has Dementia/Alzheimers. What will happen in the end?

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My Mom has dementia or alz, her condition doesnt change too much, its very slow.She hasnt really talked or walked in over 3 years yet I do make her smile and laugh. When I read about death on here, I wonder sadly what will happen in the end. Will she die in her sleep, suffer, get pneumonia? I worry about it all the time, sometimes I think she just might outlive me (lol). I love her so much, and I would love for her to go peacefully when she does, what usually happens?

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Okay, just read more of your message. My Dad also did not want artificial means of support. I knew Dads body was in the process of shutting down when he could no longer feed himself, chew, or swallow food. I called his doctor and told him that Dad could not chew or swallow on his own. The GP went to visit my Dad at the home, and prescribed Hospice. I was then called by a Hospice Manager, and she came and met with the family and Dad. They took care of everything, and hospice caregivers went to visit Dad often to make sure he was comfortable and pain free. Dad died about a month later, peacefully in his sleep, without being moved, and we were there. My heart goes out to you. Dad was 86 with Parkinson's and Alzhiemers.
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Please call your mom's doctor to prescribe for hospice. It is paid for by Medicare and not out of pocket. Hospice can take place in your home, and you can be with her. When my dad was no longer able to to eat on his own, or chew or swallow food, Hospice was a Godsend. As advise offered above, Hospice will not hasten death, but will provide comfort and care, and peace to your loved one. Hospice will also help you during this time to cope. At least that was my experience.
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RR there is nothing mean about wishing your beloved mother a peaceful, painless ending. I'm scared, too; I don't see how anyone could not be. I suppose all we can do is "hope for the best, prepare for the worst" and meanwhile pray (or wish, or whatever people like to do) that we'll find enough strength for whatever we need to deal with. Thanks for letting people talk about this - I'm sure it's in everyone's thoughts from time to time.
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since the brain controls about everything, you can expect different functions / systems to begin failing. the immune system for one. my mother was never in horrible pain but constant discomfort from a poorly working digestive system. i think hospice is beneficial because one of the stages of actively dying is terminal agitation and when that happens morphine / ativan liquids will relieve the patient of their emotional misery. the drugs will not be the cause of death but they will provide a peaceful and pain free death. to me it was a no brainer. calm this dying person down. the more you read about end of life matters the more prepared you will be to cope with it. when you see the patient declining daily they have days to live. declining hourly, hours to live. im seeing my 90 yr old aunt declining weekly right now. bet she''ll be gone in a matter of weeks. maybe that visiting priest will reserect her, that,d be pretty impressive..
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Thank you all for writing me. I just wanted to say that my Mom lives with me , has for 6 years (next month) , and her condition hasn't changed in years. Her not walking, incontinence, not talking (few words pop out sometimes), and she chokes so easily. I puree her food and feed her slow. I use thick-it in her drinks. I have been doing all of this for so many years now I wonder what I will do if she wakes up in pain yelling or moaning, what if she cant breathe, etc. I wondered if she would get pneumonia or choke to death or just die in her sleep and didnt know what the usual was. Can I stay with her until the end, well I can say that she will be in my home still and I want to stay with her, if I can handle it and I am petrofied. My husband is stronger and will also be here. Sometimes I wish she would just go in her sleep, am I mean to say that because I love her so very much. If she gets pneumonia I treat her correct? She already signed 10 years ago that she does not want any artificial means of support. She always said she never wanted to be a burden on anyone and if she ever had to go into a nursing home to please shoot her. yes, we had many laughs over it, and here we are :0( wouldnt you know. ugh. anyway, thanks all, I needed to hear things and also that (Braida) you are scared like me. I think misery likes company sometimes.(support I mean) I do not have hospice now, I did, but i prefer to keep my own doctor and take care of her myself without them interfering in my home, until I absolutely need them. Thank you all XO
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Yes, Reverseroles, I have exactly those fears regarding my Mom. I love her very much, and try to take care of her as lovingly as she always took care of her children. But, I worry what it will be like in the end. I wonder if it will be painful, if she'll forget how to swallow, and many other fears and unknowns, and like you, I pray for her to go peacefully in her sleep. It's very frightening wondering how bad will it get. Not much help to you with this comment, but just wanted to say I am right with you and understand how you're feeling!! Hugs and best of luck on this journey that we all wish we were NOT on!!!
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There is only so much you can do Reverseroles, many children with aging parents or grandparents is in the same situation with you. Alzheimer's usually affects the person's memory, behavior and thinking. The only way through it is to have a better understanding of the illness so you can cope with it and manage caregiving effectively. It's not until your mom is diagnosed with advanced stage of Alzheimer or dementia that you can put her in a nursing home, so you have to look after her for the time being. But if she expressed that she does not want to move out of your home, please do not force her. It would be an agony to her. Maybe this information would help answer some of your questions: infolongtermcare.org/long-term-health-care-seniors/diseases-in-elderly/what-is-alzheimers-disease/. But for now, there is no known cure for the disease...
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She had said she did not want to die alone and I was there, and your being there is probably going to be the most important thing if you can do it.
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You might want to talk to a Hospice, because it might be real easy on her, like just feeling ill and tired and going to sleep if she gets a virus or pneumonia, but you can't count on that, so in case there is some distress and you want to have her have medication to ease it. My mom it was not too bad most of the time in hospice but at the very end her chest hurt and I was thankful for the doc who had her get some morphine.
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